Passion from a Stone

Plans for 2012...

2011-12-30T23:45:00.001-05:00

In a number of different ways, 2011 was a very disorganized year. It seemed that each time I began to eek out a “new normal”, something else out of my control would change and upset whatever balance I had found.

I keep thinking to myself “Goodbye 2011! Don’t let the door hit you on the arse on your way out and good riddance! Hellooooooo 2012!”

2011 certainly wasn’t all bad. There were a lot of fun times, Heather has shown us that age four is awesome in many ways, Todd has exploded onto the scene with his personality & charm and I am employed full-time again. As I’ve said in the past, we have a lot to be thankful for. Yet 2011 was a hard year in many ways, so it is somewhat gratifying to see it in the rear view mirror and prepare for a “fresh start”.

Out of all of the challenges of 2011, I find myself reconsidering my priorities and refocusing on the things I really want. Thinking about how I spend my time, what I would rather spend less time on and what things make me happy. I can’t say that I have figured it all out yet. It is still a work in progress, of course, but I feel like I am getting a handle on some of the changes I want to make.

I started to write about these priorities and realized that the ideas and their place in line are still forming in my head. So hopefully I will be back soon with more concrete thoughts about changes I want to work toward next year.

Oh-Ver-Whelmed

2011-12-14T13:26:00.001-05:00

The holidays are just adding another layer of crazy to a 10 layer crazy salad.

I need to write about it, but I’m not complaining. I know how incredibly lucky we are. I’m happy that we have two smart kids who know what they want and want to do everything themselves. (A hard job now, but will make them awesome adults someday.) I’m thrilled that one of my “problems” is adjusting to my new job and our new everyday life. I’m thankful that we’re healthy, have a roof over our head, have the food and clothes that we need, and that we can afford to get the kids just what they want for Christmas. I’m thankful for a new laptop, the ability to continue teaching at the yarn shop and the possibilities for having knit and crochet designs published in 2012. I’m thankful for my dishwasher, washing machine and dryer for making my tasks easier, even if they aren’t smart enough to fill and empty themselves.

Most of the things on my to do list are not hard, they just take time. And I feel like I am too often sacrificing sleep for the things on the list. Which I know is just as bad, if not worse, than having a messy house.

Quite frankly, a number of things are on that list now so that I can ENJOY and RELAX during my two days off at home for the holidays. On Christmas and the day after I just want to enjoy time with family and enjoy time in the house I love, without feeling like I should take a few minutes to vacuum or go through a pile. And let’s face it, if I am going to do any organizing or cleaning during those two days, my efforts should be focused on helping the kids find places to store their new toys!

I also can’t wait to give our family members this year’s pictures of the kids and to send out what I’m sure will be an adorable card using said pictures. But I still need to get through the agonizingly difficult process of picking the handful of pictures to use from the big stack that she gave us. I am thankful to know someone so talented, but my job would be a lot easier if there weren’t so many great images to choose from! (I’ll show you some once presents have been given.)

Now that I’m employed, the biggest problem we have is a cat issue. It has changed and grown over time, and I have reached a point that I just need it to be fixed…and we found someone to help us and give us a list of things to do to fix it. Which will be fabulous in the long run, but in the short term just adds another layer of items to the task list. I really wish we would have known about this person years ago…but all we can do now is move forward and figure out the right strategy for this point in time. I think it might be less complicated if we had more rooms in our house with doors. :-)

Good Weekend

2011-12-05T21:47:00.001-05:00

Each time I tried to compose a facebook status update about how nicely the weekend was going, it was much too long for that format and it was hard to express some of my thoughts without sounding cranky. So I must need to right a blog post about it.

Friday was the holiday luncheon with my new employer, followed by a 2-hour early release for the weekend, giving me time to cross a few items off my list while I was home alone. The kids came home happy, the house was reasonable straight to be seen by someone new (this weekend’s babysitter was coming for the first time) and the homemade pizza was ready for the oven on time. Despite some initial shyness (that is Todd’s MO with many people lately and since the babysitter was his teacher, Heather doesn’t know her as well), the kids had fun and we returned home to a glowing report of their good behavior. It is always nice to hear that what we are trying to teach the kids is sinking in, even if that isn’t clear on a day to day basis to us.

R and I had a lovely dinner. The food was excellent and we covered the topics on my list. (The more that is going on, the more lists I make.) These are discussions that I find it hard to have at 9:30 or 10pm when all I want to do is relax my brain and go to sleep. I feel better now that some decisions are made and there is less pressure for us to have a “big” discussion on a weeknight after doing an hour of chores.

After we ate, we went shopping for my Christmas present – a new laptop! My old laptop has been in need of replacement for a while…and I don’t think we could have shopped for it successfully with the kids along. This time I specifically went for a lightweight model and I think it has the speed and storage to last me for a good, long while. And hopefully the battery life will live up to their promises, too.

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Saturday was our activity and errand day. We went to Phipps to see Santa, and have our annual visit to see the trains and flowers. I think when the kids are older we’ll spring for a membership and try to go a few more times a year, but there are so many great places to go in Pittsburgh, this hasn’t risen up our list yet. Santa was great, as always – kind, chatty and not in a rush

Heather asked Santa for a Belle and Cinderella. Todd refused to sit on Santa’s lap and barely made eye contact with him, so Heather let Santa know that Todd wants “Christmas Lights” this year. His previous answer was “presents”, so at least his revised answer is more specific. :-) Now that requests have been made officially, the elves can get to work. And the elves are very happy that they didn’t shop early since these requests just materialized in the past week…

After lunch, we bought Heather’s first ballet outfit. She starts class in a couple of weeks. The class is run in the same building as daycare, so it doesn’t currently add any event to our calendar other than making sure her attire is clean and present on the right day. And then while the family had movie/nap time, I did some shopping for Christmas and groceries, knocking a few more items off my massive December to-do list.

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Sunday was designated to decorate the house for Christmas. Given our recent mild temperatures, R had already done the outside decorating and put up some window lights. We got a lot done, especially when you consider that we usually use the long Thanksgiving weekend for decorating.

But this is where I’m going to sound cranky. I don’t want to wish the time away. I love the ages that the kids are at now…but when it comes to decorating for Christmas I am looking forward to the kids being old enough to help without making the process more stressful. Between the random unpacking of decorations, the leaving of ornaments on the floor, the concern that ornaments will be dropped or broken, the impatience to decorate *now* and the following boredom half an hour later…I just found it making me very stressed out yesterday. I suppose that “ideally” the prep work of unpacking and putting lights on the trees would be done while the kids are otherwise occupied, but that didn’t work out this year and I would like them to really be able to help.

I have to give Heather credit. She lasted a lot longer in the process than Todd did and other than a few branches that had 2 ornaments, she did really help with tree decorating. (Todd’s fullest branch had 5 ornaments on it…) But she still required a lot of direction and she isn’t immune to the dropping problem (maybe we need to get a carpet remnant to put under the tree?).

I also kind of hate how the decorating process makes the house look so messy. I need to dust as I do the mantles and put out the knick knacks this week, and a post-decorating vacuum is definitely in order. I know that the result will be fabulous, it just felt like a lot of work yesterday, and there is still more to try to finish (hopefully) before the week is out. Part of it is internal pressure to go into the holiday with a house that feels clean. I only have two days off at home, and I don’t want to feel like I should spend them cleaning (other than maybe organizing the kids’ new toys)!

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You can see how I was having issues coming up with a concise and happy facebook update. ;-)

This Weekend

2011-11-23T08:09:00.001-05:00

Things I’m looking forward to this long weekend (in no particular order):

1 – Spending time with the kids while they are surrounded by relatives and friends someplace other than our house. This means that I won’t be multi-tasking on chores while spending time with them and they will (probably) be on their best behavior because of the other people. Also, they will spend time playing with others while I sit and watch (and knit).

2 – Lots of time to knit and crochet in the car.

3 – Eating the pumpkin pie that I’m making for Thursday using my Great-Grandmother’s recipe. It is easy and it is my favorite pumpkin pie in the world.

4 – Time spent with family and friends. I expect to see some people that I really like that we don’t get to see very often. And I am hopeful for time that is relaxed and calm.

5 – Good food that I don’t have to cook. I will have some responsibility food-wise – the pie and the general task of making sure that there are healthy snacks around to keep the kids from getting hungry between meals. Also, making sure we have meals on a reasonable schedule as to not make the kids irritable or throw off bedtime. But thankfully, as they get older, the latter is better since they can mostly express when they are hungry.

6 – Not setting an alarm for four days. Yes, it is likely that the kids will wake us up before we necessarily want to be up, but it is still better than my alarm going off at 6am. And last time we were with my parents, the kids got up to play with them and let me sleep a little longer.

7 – I have a lot to do during the next two evenings to prepare for the weekend, so getting to Thursday morning should mean that my tasks are done. Hopefully.

Part of the reason I am focusing on these things is because there is a somber aspect to the weekend as well. This is the beginning of our first holiday season without my father-in-law and without my grandfather. I am not looking forward to the emotion and the sadness, but I know that it is part of the grieving process and I am thankful to have my energetic children to constantly remind me to live in the moment. There is actually something a little….refreshing (not quite right, but I lack of a better word) about talking with a 4 year old about death. It is a very straightforward conversation in that it is best to give straightforward and clear answers. The hard part is not really knowing what question will be thrown at you next.

Also, this post is to remind myself that the craziness and late nights this week will be worth it for the sake of our weekend together.

I hope, dear readers, you have a wonderful weekend with people that you love.

Fall Chops

2011-11-18T19:59:00.001-05:00

Have you ever found a recipe that sounded just perfect, but it took a half dozen tries to get it to really work and meet your vision? I just finally realized the desired goal last night on a pork chop crockpot recipe that I probably found over a year ago.

orange-apricot-pork-chops-in-crockpot

Ha, ha. Look – it was almost 3 years ago that is was posted, so I would guess that I tried it for the first time while I was on maternity leave with Todd. So it has taken me this long to get the recipe right *and* figure out my crockpot.

I’ve had pulled pork. I know that it is possible to get that kind of tenderness, and yet each time that I made the recipe we had meat that needed to be cut with a serrated knife and that had to be completely drenched in sauce from the first bite to the last. I knew it could be better, but it took me a while to figure out why I was having so many issues.

First, the issue with my crockpot. It is a very basic model. And honestly, I have no problem with that. I can hook it up to a timer if I need to it to start after I leave the house, I tend to simmer things on low all day while we’re at work and I have made a variety of yummy foods in it for the 4-5 years that I’ve had it. The “problem” is that the heat dial just goes from 1 to 5. There is no “warm”, no “low”, nothing specific about temperatures or that relates to the way that crockpot recipes are usually written. So this is the recipe that finally taught me that 1 is “warm” and 2 is “low”. I decided that there was enough liquid in the pot that I could afford to try heating the pork chops on 2 yesterday, and the results were perfect. Fall apart when you just look at it, perfectly cooked pork.

Second, in the past I have stuck literally to the directions in the blog post, but I found that when I emptied the can of mandarin oranges over everything else, it pushed the sweet and savory jam mixture off the top of the chops, leaving them with just a few orange slices on top and the jam mixture diluted in the crock.

So here are my directions for this yummy recipe that seems to me like perfect fall fare. The orange and clove smell emanating from the kitchen reminds me of the wassail I make for the holidays. Yum!

3-4 Pork chops (I use boneless)
2, 10.5 oz cans of mandarin oranges
1 cup apricot jam (I also like peach or a peach/apricot mixture. You can use orange marmalade as well.)
3 Tbsp brown sugar
1 tsp salt
½ tsp pepper
½ tsp cinnamon
¼ tsp ginger (You could use more if you like more “kick”)
¼ tsp whole cloves

Put pork chops in the crockpot. Pour cans of mandarin oranges (including juice) over them, leaving at least 5-6 orange slices on each chop.

In a small bowl, stir together remaining ingredients, except cloves. Dollop mixture evenly over chops and oranges. Then sprinkle cloves over the whole thing. (This makes it easier to find and remove them before serving)

Cover and cook on low for 10 hours. It might not need that long, but that's the length of time I'm away from the house on a weekday.

Someday, when my kids will eat rice, I will serve this with rice because I think the rice would absorb the extra sauce nicely.

(Enjoy the picture on the original blog because it didn’t even cross my mind to take one last night.)

More Kid than Toddler

2011-11-09T20:31:00.001-05:00

Yesterday was election day. Neither R or I made time to go to the polls before work, so that meant that we had to go in the 2+ hours between arriving home from work and the closing of the polls at 8pm. This is a busy time in our house – making dinner, bargaining snacks, talking about our days, enjoying time with the kids while trying not to rile them up before bed, getting ready for bed, bath or shower, wind down and getting the kids to sleep. (That last part is still taking a bit of time with Todd, but I’m working on it and it’s getting better…)

R went to the polls while I got dinner started and gave the kids a snack (aka, something from their Trick or Treat bags) in the kitchen. Sometimes having the kids in the kitchen while I’m cooking is a disaster and sometimes it is lovely. Never can tell for sure. Last night was good, maybe just because the kids got the snack they wanted. ;-) As soon as the food had 15 minutes of simmering to go and R was back, Heather and I walked over to the polls together.

Two bits to share from this:

1) Heather and I had a nice little walk. We vote at the elementary school around the corner. Heather seems to be more free flowing with information about her day when we are walking together (rather than being questioned during dinner). And as she is still less “needy” than Todd, there are times that she doesn’t get as much attention from me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not purposefully ignoring her. But for example, in the rush of the morning routine, I am busy getting myself ready and attending to Todd’s needs. I don’t generally get up earlier than absolutely necessary, and she spends time watching TV to help her “wake up”. This combination means that the two of us don’t usually talk much on weekday mornings. Now that it is dark out by the time we get home it feels harder to make little walks like this happen, but truthfully we could still do it when the weather is mild.

2) While R was voting and I was cooking, I let the kids know my plan to go vote when daddy got back. Heather’s suggestion was that she could watch Todd while daddy and I left to vote together. She’s 4 ½. I fully expect that at some point she will be watching her little brother at home without a parent present (and she already does some “supervising” of him while we’re in a different room), but I don’t think it’s time yet for us to leave the house. I suppose I’m beginning to wonder when that will be. I certainly think that we have a ways to go…but I suppose we’ll dip our toes in the world of more independence when she heads off to Kindergarten next year. It will be interesting to see what that looks like.

Steeler Sunday

2011-11-06T22:09:00.003-05:00

Just posting a two month old picture in honor of the Steelers game tonight...

Drawing

2011-11-05T21:54:00.001-04:00

All of a sudden (or so it seems to us), Heather loves to draw. For most of this year she would like to sit and draw letters from time to time. And sometimes she would be willing to randomly draw in a coloring book or scribble some color in paper.

Within the last few weeks she really likes to draw, regularly chooses it as a quiet activity and draws people, animals, houses and anything else her little brain thinks up at that moment. She's also more interested in coloring and is asking us how to spell a lot more than the typical list of names she writes.

Lately, she writes
"HEATHER
TODD
MOMMY
NANA"
And then asks how to spell Daddy, Bapa and Grandma Sharon. Then she goes on to ask other names or other words she's read recently.

Here is one chalk drawing example from Columbus Day weekend:

Fall fun

2011-11-04T21:15:00.001-04:00

The pumpkin picking part of our trip to the pumpkin farm was not the highlight. We were there for a birthday party. It was a lovely day and the kids had a lot of fun!

(These are just the highlights from my iPhone pictures. It is possible that, like the Halloween costume pictures, better photos exist in our main archive. But this is easier right now...)

Halloween Costumes

2011-11-03T13:20:00.001-04:00

The good news – I’m employed full time again. Yay!
The bad news – The two weeks leading up to working (visiting family out of town and trying to prepare) and my first week of work have been super busy, leaving little time to do anything on the computer, especially to blog. Insert praise for iPhone here, which has allowed me some semblance of an online life at random moments.

But let’s jump back in to the now…Halloween!

Heather was set on being Darth Vader and Todd was not consistently set on any costume. Add in everything else going on for the last month, and it was a perfect recipe for store bought costumes. There was a little drama with Heather’s costume (the first store we visited didn’t have her size) and Todd talked about a lot of different costumes up on that big wall of pictures. Over the two weeks we talked about it we heard: Chewbacca, Obi-wan, Gumby, Dinosaur, Darth Vader, Luke, Woody and probably 10 others that I’m forgetting. On our last visit to the party store, with two days to go until his class party, he chose Buzz Lightyear.

I considered some sewn hemming for the sleeves and pantlegs that were too long, but after attempting to alter the too big Darth Vader costume that we bought originally and making myself crazy trying to get the sewing machine to play nicely with the stretchy knitted fabric…I decided that shoes would keep long pantlegs from being tripped on and sleeves hanging over knuckles wasn’t a problem. Besides, given the number of times that last year’s Woody costume has been worn, I expect this year’s costumes to see some more action during playtime, so there is no reason to hem them down too much.

I did knit Heather a Darth Vader “helmet” hat. (I never got a good picture of it when she was wearing it, unfortunately.) Masks aren’t allowed at school and I didn’t think it would stay on during Trick or Treat. The baby/toddler version of the Darth costume I’ve seen has a cute little hat helmet, so that was my inspiration. I used the Hallowig pattern from Knitty as my starting point, adding some different shaping to be more like Darth’s helmet. A crochet edging adding some stabilization to help the edges flare and I decreased in a more pointed fashion.

The hat was a little too warm for the school parties (the parties always warm, even without costumes!), but it was perfect for Trick or Treat, especially given the teeming rain that was falling all evening. Todd was able to wear a wool hat as well, under his Buzz helmet. In hindsight, a new pair of gloves for him in white would have been better than his mittens from last year for the costume, but who wants to knit white gloves for a dirt-loving 2 year old? Both kids wore Nana-made wool sweaters underneath their stretchy costumes and it wasn’t as cold as Saturday when it snowed (!), so everyone was warm and happy despite the weather. And from a” mom of little kids” point-of-view, the rain kept the hoards of big kids down, which was nice.

Work Life

2011-11-02T17:53:00.001-04:00

I made a passing remark on facebook that I would write a blog post about the new job.

So now I sit here wondering what to tell you about it. For a myriad of reasons relating to client confidentiality (which are, in some ways, more critical in this position) as well as a personal goal to not inadvertently piss off my employer, I haven’t really written about work much. Granted, there are blogging architects out there who write in detail about their work. Even some who don’t own the business that they work for, but I’m not sure that is me. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy showing off my completed projects and even took my mostly uninterested kids on a tour of one of my buildings (we’ll try again when they’re older ;-)…but I don’t think my architecture remotely relates to the reasons that I blog.

Anyway, so far the job is good. The people seem nice, the work seems similar to what was described and thankfully my first couple of projects aren’t big rush jobs. My position is new, so I think the department manager is trying to use my time to get ahead on a few things initially planned for December and January, allowing me to go a little slower to get my feet wet here. (Have I mentioned how incredibly awesome it is that this company uses Microstation, the same CAD program that my last employer used?! There are still adjustments, but I’m glad that isn’t one of them.) Any time now, there are several projects that could break that have more urgent deadlines, but I am enjoying the fact that I’m not putting out any fires. Yet.

We are still working out all of the kinks in our schedule and day-to-day life (having Halloween and related events happen in the first week means we haven’t really had many “normal” days yet.) Somehow I need to find a way to get to bed a little earlier and get a little more time to relax with TV and knitting each evening. Important for both my sanity and for getting projects finished. I have two book projects left, a waaaay overdue baby present, a design for an indie dyer, a sweater promised to Todd, several other baby presents not even planned and a few winter accessories for both Heather and Todd…which they will need very soon.

I am also quickly realizing that not making it to the grocery store over the weekend was a grave error and means that I going to have to go tonight after the kids are in bed. (It’s actually a lovely time to be in the store, just not really what I want to do at 9pm.)

But I am really and truly not complaining. I am thrilled to be working again, and my 14 months of uncertainty have given me a new perspective on work. I know that even when there are days in the future that the house is messy and I would rather be working on that than drawing floor plans, I will be thankful to be employed and be more positive about figuring out a better way to manage my time rather than just complaining about the things not getting done.

I do miss working at the yarn store, but I am still teaching a little and I have gotten to stop in to visit a few times during the weekend running of errands. If only yarn/knitting/crochet experts had the same earning potential as architects. ;-)

Halloween Pumpkins

2011-11-01T19:59:00.001-04:00

The one “craft” I did partake in for Halloween was the pumpkin carving process. The kids both painted pumpkins at school and got little tiny ones for table decorations, but I am a big fan of the carving. Part of it is my need to design and render something festive and part of it is my love of the roasted pumpkin seeds as a reward for all of that hard work.

I’ve always thought that the pumpkin carving kits you see in stores were silly, but this year I learned I was wrong. I got a hand me down set from Todd’s teachers last year and I actually remembered to use it. The downside is that the blades are really bendy and by the end of the process the two knives and one borer had broken off of their handles. But while they were still intact that worked really well for the carving and had a lot more control than the kitchen knives I’ve used in the past. I’m hoping that I can either find a sturdier set for next year or maybe find some cheapie ones on clearance to stock up. I will definitely be using those tools again. Not to mention that the scooper for getting the guts out was about 10 times faster than my ice cream scoop method (and the scooper didn’t break).

Heather helped for a lot longer this year than last – she scooped for quite a while and she drew the faces. Todd helped a little, but was more interested than watching. I look forward to a year when they are old enough to help more significantly so that four pumpkins don’t take 6 hours of work…but I am happy with the results and the two bags of roasted pumpkin seeds. J

Pumpkin #1 – Heather’s

She drew the face she wanted directly onto the pumpkin. Initially she drew more detail than I could feasibly carve and some of the features were proportionally small. But all I did was make the elements larger and simplify the lines. You could say I faithfully reinterpreted her design for the carving medium. :-P

Pumpkin #2 – Todd’s

When she got tired of scooping, Heather drew out a number of possible jack o’lantern faces for Todd and Daddy to choose from for their pumpkins. She had a variety of happy and sad faces, and Todd insisted on a sad face. Again, this is Heather’s design reinterpreted for the medium.

Pumpkin #3 – Daddy’s

This is based on one of Heather’s sketches, that was drawn onto the pumpkin by both of them. I’m not sure who added the extra eye – if it was on purpose or a chance occurrence – but daddy was very happy with Heather’s design.

Pumpkin #4 – Mommy’s

I started with a sketch that Heather had designated for me, but made a few alterations for my own preferences. This is my “ideal” face and the first year that I have been happy with the way it turned out. (Thank you, pumpkin carving kit.) Next year I may do something more different now that I have finally gotten a good basic face.

Just Pictures

2011-09-06T13:34:00.001-04:00

Summer fun has continued around these parts - more camping, playground, playdates, ducky tour, neighborhood fair, jazz in the park, pool and walks around the neighborhood. To keep you occupied until I can put together a more newsy update, I'm going to share my two favorite pictures that R has taken this week.

New Social Media Strategy

2011-08-12T12:13:00.003-04:00

Things in the online world are constantly changing and evolving, just as many other things change and evolve in our "real lives".

When I started this blog I purposefully didn't make the name about knitting because I knew I wanted to post about a variety of things and not just my fibery life. While there will always be some overlap, I find that I want to separate my new knitting/crochet/teaching adventures and freelance work from my personal expressions online. My reason for using this blog and using facebook is about staying connected with friends and family, and about sharing personal thoughts and stories to keep in touch. And in some ways, it has become the closest thing to a baby book or journal that I have about the kids as they grow.

On the other hand, I have been using twitter mostly to connect with people in the fiber arts world and a few other Pittsburghers & friends. So twitter and my new blog will be my primary outlets to talk knitting, crochet, designing and teaching.

So if you are interested in my fibery pursuits, you are encouraged to add StructuredStitches to your feed reader of choice. But if your only interest is in family stories and personal anecdotes, there is no need to stray from this blog. :-)

Progress

2011-07-27T21:16:00.001-04:00

There is no progress on the full time job front. No job posts to respond to that are decent fits for my skills and interests, and even my recent attempts at networking have gone silent. I'll blame it on the summer and do another round of contacts in a few weeks.

But there is some progress on fibery things. I really enjoy working at the yarn shop, I've had some great experiences teaching and I have some designs in the pipeline. Some will be published by me, two will be published through an independent dyer and three will be published in books! Woot!

In addition to the design work, I'm working on a style sheet and logo for my independent designs, tweaking my class handouts and working on the launch of a separate blog for my design work.

Oh, and knitting samples for teaching. You can see today's work below. One benefit of the hours spent working at the yarn shop beyond the nice people and enjoyable discussion.

Pattern: Aviatrix Baby Hat
(free pattern on ravelry)
Yarn: Claudia Hand Painted Yarns
Color: Donna's Favorite

(Sorry. No links right now. I need to go do dishes and prepare fruit to take to tomorrow's playdate.)

Swatch inspiration

2011-07-14T21:34:00.001-04:00

I'm made this swatch yesterday with only the intent of setting a good example for my students. I knit it in the round, wider than 4" and using the stitch patterns I plan to use in the sweater. I was just getting it done so I could do the math to start the sweater. I just wanted to make headway on something on my to do list...

But, I LOVE the swatch. I played with the cables a few different ways and got ideas for both an adult and a kids version using some of these elements. And now I'm excited to cast on and play with the possibilities!

Next, to wash the swatch and see if the results of blocking change my design plans at all.

For the curious, the yarn is Cascade 220 in color "Heather".

Yes, really. That is what it is called. :-)

9 days of Summer

2011-07-12T13:28:00.003-04:00

This is Todd, asleep in the carrier on my back at the end of our first family trip to Kennywood. (Thank you pikkolo carrier, for helping us avoid taking the stroller to the amusement park. ;-)

Last week, R and the kids were home for vacation, and we packed a WHOLE lot of summer into that one week. Todd's expression above is pretty much how I felt when the week was over. Completely and totally exhausted. :-)

The week included camping, hiking, beach time, eating campfire food, a family 4th of July picnic, lake and pool swimming, Cars 2 (Todd's first movie theater experience, Heather's second), the spray park, the zoo, puddle jumping, a day at Kennywood amusement park and a cookout birthday party with bubbles. Whew.

Every indication is that the kids had a great time all week. They got to know some of their cousins better while we were camping and could have spent all of their time at the campground playing at the beach & the lake if we would have let them. It was hard with so many activities to keep up the usual routines and there were lots of car naps, and some bedtime issues. But the kids seemed to deal with the unpredictability well and the only "problem" was some boundary testing near the end of our break. Other than some slow mornings, the return to daycare and our normal routine has not been hard and both kids were eager to join their friends after drop-off this morning.

Our day at Kennywood was a lot of fun. Heather was ready to ride anything that she was tall enough to go on and was enthusiastic in Kiddieland. Todd was a little more hesitant at first, especially on the rides where he was supposed to sit solo. So we switched to the rides where kids and parents can ride together, and by the evening he was enthusiastically going on the kid only rides with Heather.

Heather and Daddy also rode on the Pittsburgh Plunge and the Jack Rabbit together while Todd and I found other ways to entertain himself. We may need to find another adult to take with us next year so that Todd has a riding partner for the rides outside of Kiddieland as well. This mama only rides the spinny rides and not anything that goes up and down. :-)

We look forward to more summer activities, but this past week was the epitomy of summer fun!

******************************************************************
Bedtime stories in the tent:

First walk on the beach:

Playing at the Glendale Lake beach:

In the Mole Rat tunnel climber at the zoo:

Riding the Kiddieland version of The Whip:

In which I blog about Architecture

2011-07-08T23:34:00.000-04:00

The first descriptor that I give in both the header and the "About me" section is that I am an architect. It is something that I worked hard for (5 years of college, 3 years of internship, 9-part exam) and something that partially describes who I am. And even the name of the blog was inspired by a quote from a famous architect.

In reality, I would more generally describe myself as a designer...and architecture is a way of doing that in an environment where I am comfortable, where I can work as a team member and where I can find both emotional & financial satisfaction.

Yet, despite architecture being such a critical part of my life, I think I have blogged more about this aspect of my life since being unemployed than I ever did in the 5 years that I was working and blogging. Some of this is due to client confidentiality and not wanting to do anything "wrong" on the internet. But beyond that, I'm not really sure why I have been so silent. There was nothing stopping me from posting pictures and information about completed projects that I am very proud of. And maybe if I had done that it would have been easier to pull my resume and portfolio together last fall. :-)

But the thing that leads me to want to write about it now, at least partially, is Architect Barbie.

It isn't actually because I have strong feelings about this choice for Barbie. For the most part, I think it is pretty cool and it seems likely that I'll try to get one for Heather so maybe she will think that being an architect is as cool as being a cowgirl like Jesse. ;-)

I've read complaints that having an Architect Barbie makes the profession seem silly or will prevent people from taking us seriously. That argument doesn't hold water with me. Would you stop taking female doctors and lawyers seriously just because there was a Doctor Barbie or a Lawyer Barbie?

Truthfully, I don't think this will be the panacea for making the profession more diverse either. There is a big problem with gender inequity in the world of architecture and the problem lies somewhere between university and licensure...a period in which I doubt Architect Barbie will have much affect.

I don't have the precise numbers in front of me (although they may be listed in the Architect Barbie link), but while the number of males and females in architecture school is nearly 50/50, the number of licensed female architects practicing today is staggeringly low. There are plenty of theories, but as far as I have read no one has yet figured out why this is the case.

In some cases, women find allied jobs that don't require them to complete the work to be licensed - these are jobs that work with architects or are related to the building fields, but since they don't require the creation of construction documents, a license isn't required to do the work. There are also women who choose to leave the profession when they have kids or who work as architectural interns for a while but never finish the licensing process.

I'm not going to pretend that I can speak for all of the women who go through the process of graduating with a Bachelors or Masters of Architecture but ultimately don't become a licensed architect. I'm sure that the specific reasons are highly varied. But I do think it is important that our industry figures out why we are losing so many talented people to other jobs. I think the building industry would be extremely well served by a more diverse group of professionals.

That said, I'm going to give a couple of possible factors based on my own personal and anecdotal experience. I would love to hear other opinions, too.

***********************************************

#1 - Devotion
There are many career fields where one is expected to give 120% while working. Expectations are high to work hard, to work more than 40 hours a week and devote everything you can to your job while you are there. What I think is unique to architecture is that part of the culture is about devoting "everything" to architecture.

I've heard people talk with pride about working 50-60 hours a week at an architecture firm, moonlighting on a residential project and keeping up with all of the latest industry magazines, too. Not to mention the architects who come in practically at sunset, leave after 7pm and come in on the weekends, too. It is one thing to do that in a week or two leading up to a big deadline, but that kind of devotion to architecture can't possible leave any other time in your life for anything else. Not to mention that the latter is pretty unhealthy and leaves one prone to burn-out.

I think this culture of devotion starts in school. It was an unspoken (and sometimes spoken) "rule" that architecture students should have very limited other interests while in college. Academic minors, fraternities, sororities and theater groups were discouraged. Many people participated in them anyway (thank goodness!), but I was always given the feeling that those activities should NEVER take priority over anything I had to do for any architecture class. Yes, my class projects were very important. But architecture has never and will never be my ONLY interest.

I think we are better architects when we have other interests. If nothing else, it makes us more interesting people.

#2 - Time and Flexibility
This is related to #1, in the idea that you should be so devoted to your job that it should come before anything else.

My last employer was respectful of the fact that I had a life outside of work and that as long as my work was done I was going to leave at a reliable time each day. When I was young and single, I could motor through the afternoon and early evening until I felt I was done for the day. But with two young kids and a husband who only makes Mac'n'Cheese*, there is a real need for me to leave at a consistent time each day after putting in my eight hours. I am lucky that my husband was doing daycare pick-up, but I still needed to get home to make dinner for my family and spend some time with my kids. The ever popular "work-life balance" that is hard to find.

When it was necessary for me to stay later because of a deadline, presentation or travel, I would certainly do so as needed. But truthfully, what I really needed and what I hope to find someday is the flexibility to take work home with me. Now...this may sound like a contrast to what I was saying in #1, but it really isn't. I *am* devoted to my job and I do want to do the best job possible. But to find my best work-life balance at this stage of my life, I need to leave work at the same time each day. And I know the job well enough to know that sometimes 40 hours a week isn't enough. I'm a night owl by nature, and I can be very productive from 9-11pm when my kids are in bed. I'm not saying that I want to spend all of my free time at home doing work, but if I had the flexibility to take work home as needed to get a little extra done or to make-up time spent taking my kids to the doctor or to allow me to leave early to attend a daycare party, etc, etc, finding a work-life balance would be less tricky. And I would be a happier, more productive employee.

Flexibility is important for everyone. Certainly a new father or a man with a sick parent or anyone who wants to enjoy life outside of the office could benefit from a flexible workplace. But in my experience, it is the parents who desire the most flexible benefits because having kids is all about needing to be flexible. :-)

Maybe it is just a statement about our society that there are fewer women in an industry that tends not to provide flexibility to its employees.

#3 - Values
The thing that the architectural industry most obviously promotes are iconic, unique, eclectic, challenging, obviously sustainable and sometimes egotistical buildings.

I don't think the buildings featured on the covers of the big architectural magazines are bad. But what we as architects most obviously promote to the outside world are pictures of empty buildings. Or pictures taken at such a scale that humans look like ants. Sometimes there are pictures inside the magazine with people, but rarely on the magazine cover.

Certainly there is value in architecture of the unique and the daring and the symbolic...but is that the most important thing to value? And why do we not seem to care what the users actually think of the buildings? What if there was an architectural award based on the building in a certain category that got the best results from the happiest occupants? What if we celebrated buildings for meeting the needs of the occupants and making them happy, in addition to being attractive and/or sustainable? What if we celebrated the architects as people? (My local AIA chapter used to have a feature in their magazine to interview a local architect about their hobbies, interests and favorite buildings. I found it endlessly fascinating and I miss it.)

I am a very good architect. I have happy clients. I have happy contractors. I design attractive buildings that consider the context in which they are built and often conform to it. I multi-task. I communicate well with drawings and through written & verbal communication . I can design well-integrated building features. I can pick an attractive color-fabric-finish palette. I can coordinate a set of drawings to be concise, well-organized and sufficiently detailed. I can produce an attractive document with my graphic design skills. I am educated in the many complexities of sustainable design and can lead a team through the process.

Most of the things that I am very good at as an architect are not the things that the industry advertises as what it values the most. Despite knowing that I am a very good architect, I have trouble imagining my work being recognized by my peers, nationally or locally. That particular issue doesn't keep me from enjoying my job. But I can imagine how some women might find more satisfaction in a job that values their unique skills and doesn't ignore them for not being the next Zaha Hadid or Maya Lin.

Even if it isn't about the awards, are the values of our architectural culture skewed to the detriment of those who don't thrive on designing daring or iconic buildings? I hope that the sustainable design movement will lead to the celebration of designs for their function and usefulness, in addition to how they look.

#4 - Economics
My skeptical side wonders if women are more prone to be laid off during hard economic times. I hate to even think it, let alone write it...but in our patriarchal society it isn't hard to imagine women of child-bearing age being seen as having less potential than their male counterparts. Certainly, the architectural industry is not known for fabulously long and well-paid maternity leaves and I can tell you from personal experience that pumping while traveling to job sites is a challenge. So once you are laid off, if you want to have kids, why fight your way back in for less than ideal parenting conditions?

******************************************

Maybe I am totally off base here. It is difficult to discuss gender issues without falling into age old stereotypical traps and expectations. But it is very clear that there is SOMETHING going on that causes women to follow a different path then men after they graduate from architecture school. Shouldn't we figure out what those different paths are and the things causing women to go a different direction?

The sad truth is that I don't have any lasting female architectural mentors, and maybe this is a factor as well. Maybe those of us who are licensed professionals need to reach out more successfully to women as they graduate from architecture school. We can talk about these issues and about the reasons they might have for staying in the industry instead of leaving.

*Mac'n'Cheese comment is not meant to put my husband down. He just has zero interest in cooking.

Summer Salad

2011-06-29T22:04:00.003-04:00

I was inspired by this post to experiment a little for dinner tonight.

I REALLY need to go to the store...but before I do that I HAVE to make a list to shop - both for dinners and for our camping needs. And I haven't made the list yet. Have to do it tomorrow.

But as I was leaving the yarn shop, I realized that I haven't made grilled cheese for a while and that meal only required a quick stop at the neighborhood market for bread and fruit. Not wanting to do the fall/winter side dish (tomato soup) I tried to think of a summery side dish to go along and settled on a pasta salad...heavy on the vegetables but still much lighter than soup.

Usually, I follow a new recipe exactly (or nearly exactly) one time and then change it up on future occasions. But not wanting to shop (and having little time) meant adjusting based on my kitchen contents and seasoning it to taste as I went.

I mixed together 2 cups cooked cavatelli pasta, 1 head of broccoli (cut up and blanched), 1 diced red bell pepper and 1 diced tomato. I drizzled in some olive oil and mixed it all up. Then, while stirring, I added some salt, pepper, lemon juice, garlic salt and dill. And then a little more olive oil and mixed it together well.

I thoroughly enjoyed it, and had a little bit more while cleaning up the kitchen post-kid-bedtime. It was nice and light and summery thanks to the lemon juice and dill, but the flavors of the veggies came through nicely.

I think it could use a little cream cheese. I'm not sure if there is a good way to add it, but I think the flavor and just a little of the creamy texture would make this salad perfect in my book. Does anyone know - if I add the cream cheese to the pasta while it is still warm will it mix in well?

I might try it with canola mayonnaise, since I know it will mix well...but it isn't quite what I think the salad needs. Although I forgot about the parmesan in the original when I was throwing it together tonight. That would be a nice touch as well. And it might be the way I go if I bring it to the 4th of July picnic we're attending, since there will be a time delay between preparation and consumption.

I always like adding something new to the rotation...even if Heather refused to taste it...and Todd made an awful face & said "no like it!" That just means more for mommy, right?

Family Wedding

2011-06-28T12:30:00.003-04:00

R's sister was married this past Saturday. R was a groomsmen and Todd was the ring bearer.

I'm not sure if there is anything more unpredictable than a 2 year-old as a ring bearer. :-) But he did really well. He was a little unsure in the rehearsal, but the second time through he was relaxed and unconcerned about walking with the flower girl (the daughter of the groom).

A family shot before the wedding. (Thanks for taking the picture, Aunt Wendy!)

I was with Todd at the back of the church as the rest of the wedding party processed and encouraged him to walk down the aisle with the flower girl. He seemed intrigued by the petals that she was dropping on the aisle - a new addition from the rehearsal. Once that novelty wore off he noticed all of the people sitting in the sanctuary and walked the rest of the way with his head down, refusing to make eye contact. At the end, he seemed happy to make it to daddy and be out of the spotlight. And he stayed up at the altar for the whole ceremony.

For the recessional, he was uninterested in walking with the flower girl. (I went to the back of the church, but he couldn't see me around the best man and matron of honor.) So daddy carried him while also escorting the bridesmaid he was matched with. Still pretty cute.

The weather was nice enough that the kids could run around outside the church during the receiving line and mingling. Todd seemed relieved when guests started paying attention to other people and not just him.

There was time to go home for a rest between the ceremony and reception. Instead of napping, the kids watched Gumby.

Once the (boring to them) dinner was over, R took the kids onto the dance floor and they had a wonderful time. It was pretty hard to get any reasonable pictures, but we hope that there will be some fun video to show you in the next few weeks.

They danced so hard, there had to be some breaks, too.

We left the reception about an hour after their bedtime, and even with all that dancing and the late hour, neither one fell asleep in the car on the 20 minute ride back to Grandma's house. Thankfully, they didn't fight sleep too hard and they both slept in later than normal the following morning. Not super late, but late for them. :-)

Remote blogging

2011-06-27T15:35:00.002-04:00

My previouw post was generated entirely on my iPhone while we were away for a family wedding. (Photos soon - stay tuned if you want to see the little man in a tuxedo!)

The blogging process was interesting and not too hard, but I'm not sure that I want to make it a habit. My dilemma is that I'm not spending a ton of time on my laptop these days. Usually it is just for job hunting and writing patterns & class handouts...so I would really like to find a more convenient way to blog more often.

My first attempt was with the Blogpress app. It was fine, but I'm not convinced that I love the means for posting pictures. Feel free to leave suggestions in the comments, especially if you can blog remotely using photos on flickr instead of needing the photos to be on your phone.

Teaching

2011-06-24T15:12:00.002-04:00

So in addition to working some hours as a member of the floor staff, I am officially on the teaching schedule at Natural Stitches. I was initially just doing the non-beginner crochet classes, but now that the teaching duties are reorganized I have some knitting classes on my list as well.

So far I've had two students in each discipline and I enjoyed teaching beginning knitting a lot more than I expected to. I'm sure the enthusiasm of the students I had helped a great deal.

Up to now, all of my sign-ups have been for Student's Choice classes. It basically allows the student to learn whatever they want - including the topic of any 2-hr class on the schedule, help with a personal project or beginning knitting/crochet. I even held one Student's Choice class with a knitting student and crochet student at the same time. It was a bit of a juggle, but it seemed to go smoothly for both students.

Since I have been organizing all of these classes simultaneously, all of the class samples are in partial states of completion. My current effort is to get the samples finished, so they can be hung up in the shop to hopefully drum up more students!

Currently available:
{Class descriptions}
Student's Choice
Crochet Hat Basics
Crochet Lace Scarf
Baby Blanket: A crochet stitch sample
Crochet Baby Cardigan
Introduction to Fair Isle Knitting (hat)
Crochet Motifs and Chart Reading
Crochet Pattern and Chart Reading
Knitting Pattern and Chart Reading
Crochet Edgings for Knitters

Coming in the next few months:
(Subscribe to Natural Stitches newsletter for updates)
A Noro KAL/CAL
Putting Colors Together for knitters and crocheters
A knit or crocheted tote class
And....
A 3-part Top Down Sweater Workshop

I have other ideas brewing, as do my fellow teachers, who teach socks, knitted lace, finishing, steeking, spinning and more. If there is a class or project that you would like to see us offer, please speak up. We are all enthusiastic to have students. We can spend hours and hours developing a new class, but it isn't fulfilling until someone takes it. :-)

Todd's toddlerhood

2011-06-22T23:53:00.004-04:00

As I mentioned, someone in this house turned 2 recently. This little boy is charming, happy and completely adorable. And did I mention charming. There is just something about Todd that makes people smile. Sometimes it is his smile and other times it is his enthusiasm, the cock of his head, his earnestness...it is hard to describe but there is just something about him that is hard for anyone to resist.

Overall, he continues to be the easy-going child that he was as an infant. Which is not to say that he doesn't ever express his will or state his desires. And quite frankly, when he expresses a desire, he is serious about it. He isn't just halfheartedly telling you something to see how you react. He has decided that this request is urgent to his state of happiness. And he will stubbornly defend this need with typical toddler methods.

The positive thing that I have learned about the above stubbornness, is that most of the time he still has the attention span of a toddler. If he doesn't protest strongly, the protest will likely die down in a few minutes. If he does protest strongly, then it is time to move on to something else and come back to the issue in 5-10 minutes. After a break, it is likely that his easy-going and cooperative state will have returned. Who knows how long this technique will continue to work!

His language is really amazing. I don't have specific data points, but my impression is that his language exploded sooner and faster than Heather's, who was no slouch in the words department. At his 2 year check-up, the doctor asked if he had at least 20 words and we had to do our best not to laugh...since he had more than that at the 18 month appointment. By his birthday he was starting to use 3 word phrases pretty regularly and now (2 months later) is using 5-6 word sentences. Tonight: "Thank you [for] making dinner mommy." It is kind of amazing to me that he is talking so much, especially when you consider the chatterbox that he has for a sister. But maybe that is why, so he can get a word in edgewise. ;-)

15-21 months was a tough period. Sleep was tough and so was his level of neediness and separation anxiety. It gradually improved and now it feels like we have come out of the worst of it. Of course, we have also entered the world of toddler tantrums. But in some ways I prefer the occasional tantrum over a toddler velcro-ed to my side nearly 24/7.

Todd's favorite things:
- Doing whatever his big sister is doing. Anything and everything that Heather does is what he wants to do, too.
- Playing with and watching others play with baseballs, footballs, soccer balls, etc. If it is a sport, he is intrigued.
- Swinging at the playground. He enjoys climbing and sliding, too, but he can literally swing for an entire visit to the park.
- Playing in water - at the spray park, the pool, the kiddie pool, a water table, the bathtub, etc.
- Eating fruit. (There are other things he likes, too, but fruit is definitely eaten with the most gusto and quantity)
- Playing with his friends Will and Henry.
- All of the TV and movies that his sister enjoys. He has a pretty long attention span for it, for someone his age...which is both good and bad. :-)
- Anything with animals - books, TV, the zoo and real life visits with dogs and cats. He would be thrilled if our cats would allow regular petting and playing sessions.

For his birthday, we had a small party with his two pals and family. After the party was over, we tested the new bubble wands, colored Easter eggs and rode bikes. It was a lovely day to celebrate the little boy who made our family complete.

Have I mentioned...

2011-06-11T00:41:00.004-04:00

...that someone in this house is 2 now?

No, I can't believe it either.

Also, spray parks are awesome when it is 90+ degrees outside and the pools aren't open yet.

Sum Up...too much to sum up

2011-06-07T16:22:00.004-04:00

Let's start with the present work situation, shall we? And I'll bring things up from the past few months as they are relevant.

Without a clear course to follow, I feel somewhat weird at the moment. My whole life up to this point was generally about knowing what the next "thing" was. As I completed each grade, there was another grade that followed. Then college, then my first architecture job, then a serious boyfriend, then a house, marriage and kids. My career was about whatever job my firm gave me to work on next along with completing IDP (intern development program), taking the architectural registration exam, getting my license and then passing the exam to be a LEED accredited professional. There was some progress in my level of responsibility at work, although it somewhat purposefully slowed during the pregnancy, maternity leave, infancy years. (That is a subject for a whole other post.)

When I graduated from college, things were good economically, and even without doing a very thorough job search I had three job offers that spring. Given my love of designing theaters and designing for them, I ended up at the best fit for me in the area. Not that I can't find a good fit somewhere else...but there aren't a lot of firms that would hire someone just for my theater design skill set. I think that it is applicable to a lot of other project types, given the challenges of coordinating the building systems and the flexibility needed, but I don't know whether other firm owners see those skills translating as easily as I do.

I am also fairly confident that having fluent Microstation skills in an industry mostly dominated by AutoCAD is a hindrance as well. I have made it clear that I am learning AutoCAD and that I don't think it would take more than a couple weeks to feel completely comfortable on new software...but given the firms that have completely ignored my application, I think this is hurting me. Not to mention that many firms are looking for younger (read: cheaper) employees who are also fluent in BIM software (Building Information Modeling = drafting with objects that have data embedded in them) and my resume looks even less attractive. I can argue that my experience is a terrific asset and that I can learn new software in a much shorter time span than someone with 5 years of experience can be ready to manage a project themselves...but I can only argue that if I can get in the door for an interview.

So I continue. Sending out resumes with well-argued cover letters. Sending emails to firms that seemed interested in me but didn't have enough work 6 months ago to hire. Responding to job posts online. Reminding everyone I know that I'm looking for a full time position.

In the mean time, I'm offering classes at my local yarn store, Natural Stitches. And I have just begun training to work in the store part time as well. I'm working on a few submissions for knitting/crochet books and magazines as time allows. I'm also trying not to put too much pressure on myself to keep a neat and tidy household since I am pretty sure that I could turn that into a full time job if I would let it be.

And did I mention that the kids are back in daycare full time? Because of my 2-week stint as a full time employee (yet *another* story for another time), we switched them back. And due to contract/teacher ratio issues we have kept them that way at least for the time being. The end of the summer probably brings a time for "big decisions" if my situation hasn't substantially changed by that point.

Day to day, I am doing my best to make lemonade from the situation in which I find myself. I hope that somehow the outcome, whenever it might be, finds me once again in a full time job that I enjoy or doing a mixture of part time and freelance work that has the same effect.

4 years in pictures

2011-04-04T16:22:00.003-04:00

April 2007

October 2007

April 2008

December 2008

May 2009

November 2009

April 2010

August 2010

February 2011

Four

2011-04-04T14:41:00.005-04:00

My daughter is four. FOUR!

(Yes, it has been almost two months now since her birthday. It's not like I have been blogging about other things instead...)

I feel simultaneously like there is so much to say about Heather and yet I am finding it hard to put into words. A few months ago, a college friend asked about her personality, and I felt like I was just babbling unrelated stories instead of saying anything remotely coherent about who she is or who she might turn out to be. I suppose this makes sense since she is (only) four...but after four years it also feels like I should be able to describe her more simply. I suppose that just means she is like her mother - not fond of labels or being pigeon-holed into being one thing OR another.

She is a fun girl, an emotional girl and a caring girl. She seems to get along with everyone in her class well, but the kids we hear about most consistently are the boys in her class. It isn't clear if this is just because they are more likely to want to play Toy Story or talk about Cars & Lightning McQueen, but I think there is more to it than that, since it began before the Pixar obsession.

To call her a tomboy would be too simplistic. There are days when she insists on wearing a dress or having her nails painted or playing with my old Barbies, and her favorite colors are definitely pink and purple. But left to her own devices, she would be just as likely to cover her clothes in mud, play with the toys found in the "boy" aisles at the toy store (don't get me started on the gender stereotyping in preschool toys...) or to build big houses with the duplos.

Maybe I have so much difficulty coming up with the description because she defies all labels and we shouldn't call her anything but Heather. :-)

I'm proud of how well she gets along with her brother. It can't be easy to have a younger sibling who is so needy. (That is finally getting better, but I think 15-21 months was almost as tough for her as it was for us.) There are many moments that she helps Todd, sees to his needs and easily shares with him. There are also moments that she is unwilling to share, help or be kind...but I am led to believe that this is also normal from those who have experience with siblings. :-)

At four, her favorite things to watch are Bob the Builder, Thomas the Train, just about any Pixar movie (we have 1-2 left to get), The Cat in the Hat Knows a lot about That, Mama Mirabelle, and The Sound of Music. Although she enjoys her dolls, she tends to focus more on her stuffed animals. We have a lot, but there are also a lot of them that get turns at attention. Sometimes it is about her thinking of them and looking for them, but sometimes it is just a matter of which one literally catches her eye.

She also enjoys writing letters, looking at books (she's not reading yet, but enjoys flipping through books we've read many times), building with duplos, sculpting with play-doh, Barbies and making up intricate scenarios with her Toy Story toys, cars, trucks and little people. Many times I find her with a whole slew of toys spread out around her on the floor, each one playing an important part of the imagined scenario in progress.

Heather enjoys the zoo, the science center, the natural history museum, the aviary, the children's museum, the playground, indoor play places and the library. Sometimes the quick speed with which she moves from one display to the next at the museums is a little frustrating. But she can sit and watch a play (Her first was The Jungle Book with her friend Sebastian), a dance or a movie with patience. She can be impatient but she can also display the patience of a much older child. The girl just can't be labeled or predicted. :-)

As much as her stubbornness, bedtime neediness and refusal to cooperate can drive me absolutely batty at times, it is a privilege to get a front row seat for "The Life and Times of Heather." I'm a lucky mama in many ways.

February 3

2011-02-03T14:08:00.001-05:00

I have been wanting to write, but I haven't been sure what to say. The kids and I haven't been doing much interesting stuff on our home days. With the snow and all three of us having colds, laying low has seemed like a good plan. We have a neighborhood playdate this afternoon, but It is our first in a couple weeks. Now that we are all on the mend, I need to get some more plans on the calendar. :-)

A few snippets:

1 - I had an interview on Friday. I would like the job. I was surprised to get a response on Tuesday. It is a contingent job offer, subject to the firm getting the notice to proceed on a new project. No specific timeframe. The upside is that it gives me some hope and real possibilities. The downside is the uncertainty and the fact that the stability of the job will relate directly to new work that comes in the door. I'm definitely in a better place than I was a week ago, but I'm not breaking out the champagne yet...

2 - I have both a knitting and a crochet commission arriving this week, so I used the bit of 'free' time I had to wrap up and work on my own things. As of Tuesday, the two "Hey Jude" toddler sweaters are ready for a bath, I started a swatch for some leg warmers and I've woven some more Babette Blanket ends. I have since gotten different yarn for the leg warmers and want to use the original yarn for a beret design. So many ideas and so little time...

3 - I submitted a design to Twist Collective. I'm waiting to hear if it was accepted. If it gets accepted, the next six weeks will be very busy with that and my commissions.

4 - When life/the kids allow, I am fastidiously cleaning the house. Heather's birthday party is in less than two weeks. Plus, if/when I get to start the job, I would love to exit unemployment with a clean house. Fingers crossed.

4A - The birthday party preparations and the knitting commission are constantly conflicting with each other for my time. I'm hoping to get ahead on the knitting, so I can take a little time to plan the party. Plus there are the preparations for Heather's actual birthday...

5 - The kids and I did take an outing to the mall a few weeks ago. I couldn't really tell you the last time I went to mall. There was a time in my life (high school) when it was a regular and enjoyable activity. Not that I hate it now, I just think there are other things I would rather do. I have other ways to hang out with my friends and online shopping is faster. (I do prefer to shop for clothes in person, but the time and money required only align 1-2 times a year right now.)

Anyway...Todd got a Build-a-Bear gift card for his first birthday and I wanted to wait to use it until he could pick the animal himself. He chose (with a little influence from me) an owl. He really seems to like it and it is the closest he has come to having a "lovey" in 21 months.

6 - Have I mentioned that he is 21 months now. Yikes!

Translating Todd

2011-01-20T09:34:00.001-05:00

Todd is still primarily saying one word at a time with the occasional 2-word phrase. The interesting expansion of his language is into verbs and words which express more than just object identification. For those interested in the progression of toddler language, here are some examples.

"doing" (usually with pointing)
You are doing something interesting or unusual and I need to see or participate in whatever it is that you are up to.

"some"
You are eating something that looks or smells good. I need some, too.

"heavy"
I need you to move this for me to a new, and probably less-convenient location.

"carry"
I require you to carry me at this time. Until I deem that you are allowed to put me down again.

"this"
I can't reach it, but I need this item that I'm pointing at. Please hand it to me now.
Or
What is this object? Is it this for me to play with?

"ketchup"
My food requires more tomato flavor. More ketchup, please.

"cut"
Please cut my food into smaller pieces, mommy.
Or
Please cut a piece of your pie/scone/sandwich/pizza for me.

"Talk! Talk! Talk!"
You are on the phone. Therefore I will describe what you are doing into the phone as loudly as possible.
Or
I need to talk on the phone, too, even though I have no idea who you are talking to.

{Vigorous Head Shaking}
I would rather have you spoon feed me yogurt than wear that bib you are holding.

"help" or "stuck"
I have climbed into/on top of/under something and I can't get out without your assistance.

"broke"
The toy I'm playing with isn't doing what I want it to do.
Or
My sister just broke or tore a toy/crayon/box/piece of paper.

"hat"
I want to watch Cat in the Hat.
Or
You have a hat on and I need one, too. (same for "coat")
Or
Where is Woody's/Jesse's hat?

"yee-ha"
I am playing with Jesse and that is what she says.

"boots"
I am playing with Woody and that is what he says.
(He can clearly identify Woody, Jesse and Buzz as well.)

The One in which I Talk about Cooking

2011-01-17T08:29:00.001-05:00

I realized the other day that it isn't really going to the grocery store that I hate. And really, hate is a strong word...but I do tend to procrastinate significantly when it comes to the grocery store. Even with my current ability to go alone.

Honestly, it is the whole 'food management' that I am just really tired of doing. Planning meals, finding recipes, making the shopping list, feeling guilty for not clipping coupons or shopping the circulars, doing the shopping, putting away the groceries, cleaning out the refrigerator/pantry at the same time and then having to clean the containers for the leftovers that expired. Not to mention the dishes and keeping track of what is already in the cupboards.

I hope I'm not sounding whiny. I know that all of this responsibility is part of being an adult and having a family. And I'm much better at it than I used to be. I still remember the feeling of 'fear' when I was pregnant - knowing that by becoming a mom I was dooming myself to having to cook practically every night. I've increased my repertoire significantly and have found some easy, healthy frozen options for the nights I can't get it together. But I have been in a rut lately and need to pull myself out.

I need a system. I'm not sure what it is, but I need one. I need a repository to look at when I'm planning meals for ideas. I need to do the coupon thing and smarter price shopping (in a way that doesn't involve going to four stores a week). I need to write a list every week. And I need to be proactive again about adding new recipes into the rotation.

I need to find a way past my two major challenges.
1-There are other ways I would like to be spending my time. If I could find a consistent time to plan and shop each week (or every two weeks?) and not let myself off the hook until I really do it. In truth, it probably only means giving up one knit/crochet session a week and it would reduce my kitchen stress. I've just got to overcome the mental hurdles and DO IT!

2-It is very satisfying to put a healthy meal on the table in front of my family. But there is nothing inspiring about cooking for this crew. Heather is just beginning to sometimes be willing to take a teeny bite of something unfamiliar. What Todd will eat is totally unpredictable outside of a few favorites. And neither will eat an unhidden vegetable.

Really, all three of them would be happy to eat the same 4-6 meals over and over again...so expanding our repertoire is just to keep my boredom at bay and to try to find new things they'll try/eat.

If anyone out there has a brilliant system that might inspire me or a good recipe that your family loves, please share. I am hopeful that just writing this out will help me process what I need to do and move forward.

P.S. I hope this also helps explain why so few of my friends with newborns have gotten dinners from me. It is not a lack of love, but the fact that I just barely manage to cook for my own family. Those of you who have gotten food now know how lucky you are...

Miscellaneous Kid Update

2011-01-15T13:00:00.000-05:00

I feel the need to write a post, but I'm honestly not totally sure what to tell you. Shall we see what comes out?

1. There seem to be a new word or two coming out of Todd's mouth each day. This has actually been going on for a while and it is to the point that I'm almost not surprised by new words. Two word phrases are still more rare, so those get my attention a little more. But the most fun is the comprehension. He doesn't understand everything, but sometimes we can have a real conversation.

T: Nurse! Nurse!
M: Can I please start dinner before we nurse?
T: No.
M: Can I please get my phone before we sit down?
T: Yeah.

Or....

End of bathtime
R: Todd, you got in first, so you need to get out first.
T: Noooooooooooooooo!
Once he's out and in a towel, staring back at Heather:
T: Baff! Baff! Baff! Baff!
(bath, in Todd speak)

2. Heather is really great and a lot of fun right now. Coming up with lots of extravagant pretend play scenarios, singing, dancing, practicing writing letters, chatting away and making up stories. She can also entertain herself for a while with her toys and seems to need at least one good session of solo play each day.

But she also loves to play with other kids. We have been to an indoor play place several times since my layoff, and this week she was definitely trying to actively find other kids to play with.

3. There are, of course, a few challenges now as well. Todd's sleep still sucks for a 20 month old. He naps great at daycare, but rarely naps outside of the car seat or my arms on home days. I can only put him down totally asleep and his overnight waking is random and unpredictable. He's finally gotten all his teeth through, only has a minimal cold and the separation anxiety is lessening during the day, so hopefully a breakthrough is coming.

I've considered various strategies, from bedtime changes to nightweaning, but each time I'm ready to implement his patterns change again. And quite honestly, he is minimally cranky when he's tired, so other than adult tiredness there isn't much other motivation. We've also considered a bed change as a strategy, since some nights he really enjoys Heather's bed and seems like he could cuddle up in it and sleep.

4. The primary challenge with Heather right now is her acting like a baby and refusing to do the things we know she can do (dressing herself, clearing her plate, putting on shoes, etc). In the grand scheme of things, we are working through it and it is really on the easy end of the Heather-behavior spectrum. But frustrating when both kids act like they need the same level of 'care'.

Yarny Goodness

2011-01-05T22:01:00.000-05:00

The lack of knitting and crochet on the blog is not an indication of my lack of work with yarn over the past couple of years. (I'm honestly not sure when my last yarn-related post was...). In fact, according to ravelry, I completed 16 projects in 2009 and 17 projects in 2010. And that doesn't include the sweater that is done except the zipper, or the blanket for which all the squares are made but needs to be assembled, or the pair of almost finished baby sweaters. I think those are respectable numbers when you think about the challenge or cramming knit and crochet into my life.

Now some of these projects can't be blogged about because they are samples knit for a designer, but I will be sure to share when I can!

But here are a few examples of some of my favorite projects of the year. Ravelry links for those with accounts. I may come back and blog about some of these more specifically, but it is more likely that I'll just try to do a better job of blogging future projects or writing about the evolution of projects that didn't turn out perfectly right off the needles. (I have several sweaters that need some adjustments.)

1 - M's Blanket
This is a crocheted blanket that alternates a fancier granny square with a corner square in a 9 square blanket. The squares are crocheted together with double crochet and the border duplicates the outside of the fancier square plus a serrated edge that I found elsewhere.

2 - Acero Lace Triangle
This shawl is less red than it appears in the picture. I have yet to get a good shot that shows the colors accurately, although this shows off the lace pattern and texture well. The pattern is Miralda's Triangular Shawl by Nancy Bush. For me and I didn't make any modifications.

3 - Portfolio Cover
This is the felted case that I made to hold my portfolio. Entirely improvised by me and using leftovers from other projects. Very happy with the results. I've considered using what I learned to make a laptop case, but probably by the time I get to it I'll have a different laptop. :-)

4 - Burgundy Haruni
Another lace shawl for me that involved following the pattern as written. Amazing!

5 - Henry's Green Circle
This is one of those blankets made from a doily pattern. There will be more of these in my future. Although circles are annoying to pin out. For an adorable little boy (and his mama).

6 - Amy's February
This is one of those projects that will probably be featured again because it needs some tweaking. It is an awesomely comfortable sweater that I have been wearing around the house a lot and out a little. I modified the button band/closure and it is okay, but I don't love it. I really only like it (sort of) with a square necked cami under it...and I really need it to work with more shirts to be a more reliable piece in my wardrobe. The buttonbands are crocheted, so the adjustments won't take long, I just have to sit down and do them.

A Nice Holiday

2011-01-02T21:15:00.001-05:00

Well, Santa didn't bring me a new job or more sleep, but we still had a very nice Christmas.

I have no complaints about the holiday season that is now coming to an end. I wouldn't mind a few more days of it, but that part isn't up to me. ;-)

I did start it with a little anxiety. I was very excited for this year because I knew Heather would be into it and love her presents, and I thought it was likely that Todd would do great as well. There was a lot to look forward to and each time I heard about someone else getting the tummy bug going around it gave me a little bit of dread. I've been sick over the holidays before and I didn't want the kids to deal with that. (Really, I hope they never have to deal with it, but especially at the holidays.). Thankfully we were spared (at least for now, knock on wood) and all of our plans were fulfilled without a hitch.

Getting Todd to nap anywhere other than my arms or the car has been a struggle, but as he doesn't get nearly as cranky as Heather did without a nap, we just kind of roll with it and try to get him some kind of downtime. We managed one long car ride after lunch, and a couple of times I just held him so he would get some sleep. Not ideal, but thanks to my iPhone it is slightly less annoying than it would be without it!

The highlight of Heather's Christmas was definitely her Woody and Jesse dolls with pull strings (from Toy Story). She found them first under the tree and had to be coerced to open anything else after half an hour of playing with them...in the next room. There were other things she liked and she did let us do stockings first, but I knew that Woody and Jesse would be king and queen of Christmas for her. Santa did such a good job on her stocking that she commented that he 'knows me very well' and 'he is smart'. It was a lovely day at home with my parents and some of us never got out of our pjs!

Todd enjoyed many gifts. The remote control train, the tool bench and several vehicles have maintained his interest. I have to say that both kids enjoy presents that the other received. There have been a few difficult toy moments, but most of the time they do a decent job of taking turns and sharing. It helps that Todd's attention span is short, so he is usually done with a toy before his allotted number of minutes is up. And when Heather challenges Todd's use of something, I think it is more about her plans at that moment and not about being possessive. If her current game involves Woody *and* Jesse, for example, then she can't deal with Todd using one of them at that time. But if she's just playing with Woody, she'll practically beg Todd to play with Jesse.

We also had nice visits in Johnstown and Dayton. Including some snow play at Grandma and Grandpa's, lots of fun presents (many Toy Story or vehicle themed), visits with family friends and the joy of sharing our excellent pictures of the kids by Seedlings Photography with family. Once home, we had both planned and spontaneous get togethers with neighborhood friends and two terrific New Year's day parties to attend.

To top it all off, my circle of friends was blessed with two precious arrivals that I can't wait to meet. I worked a little on the refurbishment of their dresser before Christmas and I hope to help finish some of the preparations in the coming weeks. I guess I need to finish knitting their sweaters. :-P

I hope that your holidays were wonderful as well!

Keeping my cup full

2011-01-01T20:39:00.001-05:00

I read this post over at PhD in Parenting and I feel like maybe it can help me figure out how I'm feeling. Now, honestly, after six days of holiday celebrations and having my parents around to help with the kids I am feeling pretty good. Tired, yes. But the excitement, anticipation and extra work of Christmas is past (minus one trip to the mail center this afternoon) and there is no 'next thing' hovering over me.

But there are still two things I'm dealing with. And they kind of go hand in hand when it comes to my emotions. To use the metaphor in the above-referenced blog post, I feel like I'm struggling to keep my own cup full so I can keep pouring for the kids.

1 - Being unemployed and how I define myself. It is not that I only define myself as an architect...but I don't define myself solely as a mother either. Working as an architect helped to 'fill my cup'. It gave me pride, great adult interaction, interesting stories, purpose, challenges and something tangible to accomplish for others. Obviously, there are other things that can fill one's cup in the same categories, but I haven't found substitutes for them yet. And I would prefer to substitute them with a new job over anything else.

2 - Todd's needs are pretty substantial at the moment. Actually, his daytime mommy neediness seems to be abating a little or it is just a manifestation of having daddy, nana and bapa around so much over the holidays. We will see for sure on Tuesday. But the real draining issue is bedtime and overnight. He needs a lot of mommy/nursing time at bedtime as well as overnight. The lack of regularity makes me think that his brain is waking him up and once he's up he wants to nurse back to sleep. It is still clear that he *can* sleep well in his crib, he just isn't. And he really has to be passed out at bedtime, which sometimes takes a couple of hours. Which is hard especially because it takes away most or all of our couple time as well as my 'me' time and chore time.

I'm doing my best to remind myself that both of these issues are just phases. They might be longer phases than I would like...but in the grand scheme of my career and Todd's life, they are really pretty short. So I will remind myself the importance of filling up my own cup, even when that means ordering pizza instead of making it or letting the kids watch one more episode of Bob the Builder.

In my head I know all this, but I think the metaphor is giving me a good framework for dealing with it on a daily basis.

Happy New Year!

2010-12-31T18:17:00.003-05:00

Once the kids are in bed, and a little laundry gets moved around, my plans for the evening involve lots of knitting and hopefully no time on the computer. I hope to make it to midnight, give R a kiss and then settle down to sleep. We have brunch plans tomorrow that I don't want to be too exhausted to enjoy.

I'm not making any resolutions this year. They aren't a big thing for me anyway. But this year seems even less useful than usual. The things I want to "fix" are mostly out of my control. I can do things to try to find a job and I can do things to try to help Todd sleep better...but ultimately I can't *make* either thing happen. So I already have plenty of motivation to "fix" the things I actually *can* control, and I don't need resolutions to motivate me.

I will say that I am a little happy to see the end of 2010. Whether it is true or not, starting a new year feels like a bit of a fresh slate and renewed possibilities. And without the extra holiday tasks on my plate, I'm looking forward to continue my organizational tasks in the house and pursue other ideas bouncing around in my head.

I wish you all the very best in 2011!

Preparations (and Reminiscing)

2010-12-20T22:32:00.000-05:00

Last weekend the kids got to see Santa for the second time. Their first visit was in Johnstown the previous weekend while I stayed home. In both cases, Heather was accepting and enthusiastic about sitting and talking with Santa. Todd was not a fan. We were nice enough not to force Todd on his lap, so we don't have a duplicate of Heather's mad/sad photo. Aaaah memories.

We went to Phipps Conservatory as usual, and both kids liked the trains, the flowers and the activities. Always a great destination. When our finances ease up a membership needs to be added to our plans. Especially since Todd will no longer be free as of his birthday. :-)

Tree and decorations - check
Photos taken - check
Cards designed and ordered - check
Wrapping paper - check
Visited Santa - check, check
Make cookies - check

Remaining:
Check address list and print labels
Send cards
Print photos for family gifts
Wrap (I've started...)
Decorate cookies

Trains at Phipps

Chatting with the man in red.

This is as close as Todd would get.

Looking at flowers with Daddy. (Daddy will be annoyed that I didn't rotate this one to make it straight. I'm just happy to be putting up a post...)

Attempting to get a photo of 2 kids together. Always a challenge.

And now for a little trip down memory lane. (AKA, Oh my goodness the kids have gotten big!)

Santa at Phipps, 2009. Todd didn't think it was a big deal. Heather wouldn't leave my arms.

Phipps Winter Flowers, 2009.

Santa at Phipps, 2008. She was fine while waiting in line, but was not okay in his lap!

Santa at my family reunion, 2007. Just staring...

Hershey Vacation - Day 1 and 2

2010-12-11T16:09:00.004-05:00

I wrote previously about Day 3 of our Hershey trip. Due to a dog-related delay our friends joined us a day later than originally planned, but that enabled us to go to bed early the first night and to check out a more kid-focused activity. We also didn't have to worry about arriving later than planned.

Once we arrived and checked into our room, the kids checked out the bouncy-ness of the bed while I tried to locate a convenient dinner location. I found a nearby pizza place with an iPhone app. It was so close I think getting the kids buckled into car seats took longer than the ride. And being a Tuesday night, it wasn't busy.

The next morning after trying out the hotel buffet, we went to Cherry Creek Adventure Farm in Strasburg. We fed goats and sheep, held baby chicks, looked at pigs and geese, and learned about farm animals. On the 'adventure' side of the farm, the kids tried out a variety of play areas - climbers, jumpers, slingshot games, giant lincoln logs, hay tunnels and wooden horses. We chose to skip the corn maze, given our limited time and our lack of confidence that the kids would enjoy it.

About the time that the kids needed lunch, we got the call to meet our friends over at the Strasburg Railroad. The limited hours that the attractions were open meant hoping that Todd would nap in the sling (he didn't) and powering through the day. After eating, we bought our train ride tickets and then explored the rest of the station until it was time for our ride. At the shops, Todd chose a Thomas ball, Heather chose a nice metal train and I found a train ornament for the tree.

We all enjoyed he train ride and Todd did well despite the lack of a nap.

In the evening, our friends picked out a nice, local restaurant to try. And when we returned to the hotel, daddy took Heather swimming while I put Todd down for bed.

First Baseball Game

2010-12-10T12:50:00.003-05:00

Here is an effort to document one of the fun activities from this summer. Before my layoff I was thinking about taking Heather to a Sunday afternoon Pirates game while Todd was home napping. After the layoff, I was looking at a Thursday afternoon game in September...and then once the mother of one of Heather's friends mentioned the same game it became a done deal.

Despite having worn several Reds outfits as an infant, the influence of her daycare teachers has caused Heather to think that she wants to be a Pirates fan. Luckily, for her baseball spirit, she has no idea how lousy the team has been for the past 17 years or even the fact that they lost the day we went to a game. I hope that next year I can pick a game that they win, just so she can experience the excitement of the home crowd cheering for the home team. But she still seemed to have a very good time and seemed to listen as I yammered on about the rules of the game. I will be interested to see if she retains any of it for the beginning of the baseball season in 2011.

We had a nice day and I look forward to taking both kids to a game next year!

The view from our seats. (Someone gave us a buy one, get one free coupon so we sat closer than we had planned to.)

Practicing her pirate face...

Enjoying the game with her new parrot.

What do you mean the other team scored?
Checking out the view from home plate.

Seeing more of the stadium with Sebastian.

Enjoying the food at the game.

Looking at the river before we leave.

Did I say I was ready to leave yet?

Thankful

2010-12-08T12:48:00.003-05:00

Despite how quiet it has been here, I have been thinking about this writing space a lot. Thinking about what I'd like to be writing here and when to make dedicated blog time in my life. In some ways, posting quick thoughts to facebook has taken the place of some of my blog fodder *and* I just signed up for twitter...so I am trying to sort out what belongs where in my tiny, itty bitty corner of the social media 'verse.

My mind keeps coming back to a post that starting forming the week of Thanksgiving. Not wanting to be cliche (ha!), I have procrastinated to the point that it is more of a holiday season post than a Thanksgiving one.

I am incredibly lucky and incredibly thankful.

It feels a bit odd to say that while I am unemployed with few job prospects, but in some ways my situation is making it more obvious.

I'm thankful that I have choices. That I can choose to work and send my kids to an amazing daycare center/preschool.

I'm thankful that we're doing okay despite my unemployed status. Sure, we have to have much more frequent chats to review the finances and reign in our spending as much as possible. But we are lucky not to be in any immediate financial danger or living from paycheck to paycheck.

I'm thankful for our house and our stuff. Other than some new clothes, I don't find myself wanting a whole lot for Christmas. I'm excited for the things that the kids are going to get and spending the time with family, but I'm not feeling strongly about things that I want. I suppose our situation is making me happy with what we have, and if anything I am using some of my "free time" to pure some things. It isn't that I need our house to be perfectly clean and organized all of the time, but I would like to feel like everything has a place so that cleaning up doesn't involve moving piles from one room to another. :-)

I'm thankful for our health. Even with the string of illnesses that Todd has processed over the past few months, he has never been severely ill and mostly not much more than cranky and restless. And each of these periods has made me thankful for my ability to nurse him. Especially during his tummy bug when the nurse told me that my milk was the best possible thing for him. Proud mommy moment.

I'm thankful for my friends. It is hard to put into words how lucky I have been in the friend department. There are times that it feels hard to live up to how lucky I am to have them, but I do my best.

I'm thankful for the summer we had. Looking back at our pictures makes it clear to me that we took full advantage of lots of outdoor activities and had a lot of fun.

The B-word

2010-09-22T15:55:00.002-04:00

That's it. I'm making it official.

Balance is hard as a parent. It doesn't matter if you stay at home, if you work 60 hours a week or anything in between. At the moment, I have 6 1/2 to 7 hours a day at home by myself. I can run errands as needed by myself, take care of chores, and most importantly, try to find a job.

At least in theory.

It seems like it should be ideal. And there are probably some days I could have managed a little more efficiently, but I seriously just can't seem to get a handle on it. Combine the incredible amount of time my resume and portfolio are taking (the downside of being a design professional), the difficulty lately of getting Todd down to sleep at bedtime and the multiple interruptions of the my sleep overnight...and ugh.

I'm not totally overwhelmed and I don't want to be a complainer. I am blessed in SO many ways and we're going to be fine. The uncertainty isn't fun, but somehow I'll find something. I guess I was just hoping by now that my job materials would be done and my job hunting time would be limited to reading job ads and networking. And I also hoped that by now we would have a cleaner house. ;-)

I guess this is also a confession. I know stay at home moms who have gone through similar sleep issues to what Todd is putting me through now. I always assumed that it would be easier to deal with if I stayed home rather than working full time. Sadly, it really isn't. Maybe a *tiny* bit easier - I admit I took a 3 hour nap today. But now I feel behind on everything else. And I was only able to take one because I was so incredibly exhausted that my brain couldn't do anything else. I've tried other times in the past couple of weeks, and I wasn't able to fall asleep because my brain was just so active, thinking of all of the things that needed to be done.

The other balance issue at the moment is that I feel like I shouldn't be doing chores while I'm with the kids, because they are still going to daycare. But, at the same time I need to be using the hours that they are gone to find a job. And, as I mentioned, I haven't been able to do as much after their bedtime since Todd isn't consistently going to bed on time. So it kind of stinks to be in the kitchen making dinner while R is in the backyard playing with them. But afternoon is my most productive time on the computer and I usually look up when it is time to leave to get them, and I haven't done any dinner prep yet.

In the grand scheme of things, this too shall pass. Todd's sleep is bound to improve (hopefully before it gets worse) and maybe with today's nap I'll have the energy to make the next couple of days super-productive.

Consider this a record of one of those difficult times, the appreciation of what I have and the realization that the grass isn't necessarily greener anywhere else.

Look at that. I've got 15 minutes to (try to) prep dinner before I have to leave to pick up the kids.

Hershey Park - Vacation Day 3

2010-09-18T21:08:00.004-04:00

There is too much that has happened this summer (and this year) to imagine that I'm going to go back and document it all. Especially since I am already bogged down by trying to document the last 11 years of my work life.

But as I think of things or as I find a few photos in the archive that I want to share, I plan to at least cover some of the things I've missed.

I mentioned that we went on vacation the week after my layoff. For a number of years my best friend and I had been chatting about a combined vacation. We needed somewhere sort of in between our homes, and since we didn't manage to do it 4 or 5 years ago, we needed someplace kid friendly! This year the planets finally aligned with all of our available vacations, and we set the Hershey area as our destination.

As it turns out, there is a LOT to do in the area. Really, I had no clue there was so much. And on top of that, we could have spent at least two days in the park itself. Since Todd was not totally himself (teeth + a little virus + no nap + lots of waiting in line = unhappy Todd), it is probably good that we hadn't planned two days in the park. But he did enjoy the time on the rides while they were moving, and some of the people-watching. The waiting in line he could have done without...

Heather seemed to have a great time. She rode a bunch of rides, and came off each one looking for the next. Had I known she was going to be so enthusiastic, I probably would have planned ahead a little and marked up a map with all of the rides she was big enough to ride. Next time for sure!

All in all, it was a very nice day. Especially once I got Todd to take a hour long nap in the carrier. My only annoyance with the park is that you can't bring in food. In hindsight, I wish I would have tried to sneak in just a few small snacks. There were a couple of times that a little dried fruit fortification would have improved the moods of the little people in our group, and there was never anything appropriate near us when we needed it.

We crammed chocolate world in at the end of the day. I was hoping for better dinner food than in the park (and there was), plus we did a little shopping, did the free "factory" tour, got our free piece of chocolate (that Heather had been talking about *all* day) and got back to the hotel about an hour after bedtime. A long and good day.

Just a couple of the rides Heather was on, plus my awkward camera phone picture of Todd after he finally fell asleep:

Upside Down

2010-09-17T15:46:00.004-04:00

Four weeks ago my life changed unexpectedly.

Okay. True. I did know that things at my office weren't fabulous. The staff had been on 80% pay for over a year and the office wasn't super busy. But a few things seemed to have come along and there weren't any negative rumblings. It wasn't great, but it didn't seem too bad.

Apparently appearances can be deceiving. Six of us were laid off that day. I had about 30 seconds notice about what was about to happen since I was the second one to be called in and the first victim let me know what had happened to her.

And just like that, after 11 years, I was unemployed.

I spent the day cleaning up my desk and my computer. And hugging coworkers. And being stunned...and not really knowing what was next.

And I still don't.

Well, in my immediate future was vacation. We were just about to embark on an 11 day period when Heather would be home. We had some vacation plans and some staycation plans. So for a week and a half I had very little time to *do* anything about my situation. I started to make some lists, I claimed unemployment and I did some thinking. But there wasn't time for resumes or portfolios or actually trying to find a job.

I have to tell you about the thinking. It was honestly a little like being pregnant again. All of the 'what do I want to do' all over again. What I mean is that the situation forces you to think all over again about why you work, what you like to do, do you want to keep doing the same thing, etc, etc, etc.

Where I have ended up is that I really do want to work. I want to be involved in the design of buildings. There are a variety of avenues where I might try to find a new place to do that. I'm hoping to find a job that is a good fit without being too picky. And I'm open to 'allied' jobs - something where I could use my architectural knowledge and experience without necessarily being in an architecture firm.

But if I can't find a job in the alloted time, then I would rather become a SAH Mom than open my own architecture firm. Maybe I'll change my mind down the road, but at the moment, hanging out my shingle isn't appealing.

No one has directly said to me that I should take the opportunity to stay home. It has been loosely implied by a couple of people and a few people have commented about the opportunity to spend more time with the kids. The conundrum of course is daycare. We can't just pull the kids out while I'm unemployed. Both because I need the time to work on my resume & portfolio, and hopefully have interviews, and also because we wouldn't be able to get them back *in* to daycare when (optimistically) I find a job.

Once I have my resume and portfolio prepared, I do plan to keep the kids home a day or two a week for extra activities or just to spend time together. And we may even be able to drop them down to 3 days a week to save a little money without losing their spots...but that is still to be determined. And I am spending more time with them, since I'm now the one doing drop-off and pick-up each day. That part is a nice change, to get to know their teachers and classmates a little better for the first time in three years. :-)

But in the end, it is the kids that put a lot more pressure on me in this situation than there would be if we didn't have kids. The daycare issue makes my job hunt feel a lot more like a ticking time bomb. Writing my resume and portfolio, and doing my best to network and interview well are the only things in my control at the moment. Down the line I may be lucky enough to get to choose between jobs or make some decision about what I want to do. But it is also a bit unsettling to know that we might come to a point where the situation makes the decision for me.

At the moment, I'm not really ready to go there. I am plugging along at documenting the last eleven years of my career (which is a lot of work) and keeping my ears and eyes open for opportunities.

Missing month

2010-08-06T16:29:00.003-04:00

Where exactly did July go? Five weekends and four of them were spent away from home. Planting, swimming, playgrounds, camping, wedding, and lots of time in the car.

The fullness of the first two weeks was expected. Heather had a week of “vacation” from daycare (is it really a vacation when you are taking a break from playing at one place to spend time playing elsewhere?). The weekend before was our annual family camping trip. The weekend after was a trip to DC and Maryland to attend a wedding and visit friends. In between was 3 days of fun with Daddy (I was home for one day, when we went to see Toy Story 3).

Once the whirlwind of travel was over, I was expecting quite a few weeks of no plans. Regular work days, hurrying to do something outside after work and/or having a quick dinner, plus weekends of outdoor play and swimming. Unfortunately, my grandmother’s health began to fail, and Todd and I jumped in the car on Thursday night after work. We spent the weekend in Ohio and then returned the following weekend for my grandmother’s funeral.

In my head, I have things to write about her and about my other grandmother who we lost last spring.

The weeks in between were spent trying hard not to fall too far behind with chores, laundry, dishes, etc, while also trying to enjoy as much outdoor time as our schedule allows. There was a little knitting, too, especially on the DC and Ohio trips when I didn’t have to drive. J

And somewhere in there we whooshed past my five year blogiversary. I had expected to write a wordy post, but instead I spent that day in the car.

I just wanted to say *something* here. Maybe there is hope to return regular blogging to my routine.

2010-06-28T10:37:00.001-04:00

A few other things about Todd that I either forgot, or which have just occurred this weekend.

He sometimes says “oof” (woof) when he sees doggies and they always get his attention, just as kitties do.

He makes a little kissing sound like we make to call the kitties.

When we were holding hands, he clearly said “Row” and was happy when I started “Row, row, row your boat…”

He was playing with some little cars and doing his own version of “vroom, vroom” noises while driving them around.

He can squat and he is standing without holding on for longer and longer periods. Last night at dinner he stood for a good five minutes.

Of course, I can’t think of an example at the moment, but it is clear that his receptive language is getting better. Now that we have some confidence that he is understanding us (I’m sure he has for a while, it is just clear now that he is), the process of teaching him to hand my unwanted food instead of throwing it on the floor begins along with all of those other “fun” toddler testing habits.

Aaaaaaand, I saw a couple of very brief steps this weekend. Just a couple of shuffle steps when he was more focused on what he wanted than how he was getting there. But if he really thinks about going somewhere he crawls because he can get there faster and more easily. It is just a matter of time, I’m sure.

On an unrelated note, the nice thing I can say about the cats right now is that they are letting the kids get closer. Nora will let Heather come right up to her and pet her quite often, and will sometimes stick around for Todd, too. Stewart is less interested in being approached, but he doesn’t run away as quickly or avoid the kids as much as he used to. And occasionally, Heather can come up to him and pet him. Sadly, this doesn’t make up for the messes they’ve been making around the house, but it at least balances out some of my resentment.

Summer and Words

2010-06-24T12:24:00.003-04:00

First, we've been having a lot of fun outside the past few weeks. In the water, on the playground, out walking, in the backyard, etc. We've had some rain, but most of it has been sporadic and Father's Day was one of the most beautiful June days I've ever experienced. Hot in the sun, cool in the shade and minimal humidity. I'm not sure why we didn't get a little backyard pool before now...

Todd on Grandma and Grandpa's swingset.
Heather in a drink float in Grandma and Grandpa's pool.
Heather and Todd "helping" me with the yard sale.
Todd is just a few days away from 14 months and it is clear that his receptive language is improving, and we are hearing a couple of new words a week. Did I ever even tell you all which word was his first?

Kitty was the first one, a few weeks before his birthday, I think. Basically any animal is a kitty - doggies, squirrels and recently a goat that we saw on TV.

Other words:
Uh-oh
Book
Ball
Duck
Mama, which is now mommy
Dada, although since saying mommy, that seems to be his term for both of us
Hi
Bye
Beep
"Ma" for more, which he can also sign

And R thinks he said "cheese" when he was taking his picture last night. Most of these have been figured out because he does a LOT of pointing when he wants something, and that helps to clue us in. :-)

The last month

2010-06-11T11:30:00.004-04:00

Things seem to be changing quickly around here. Todd is in the fast process of going from baby to toddler. Now that we have a pre-schooler, a 13 month old doesn't seem nearly as "old" as it did when Miss H was going through it. But Todd is definitely asserting his will, exploring the world around him and not going to let anyone call him "easy going" anymore.

1 - The best Todd news is that he has finally "clicked" with the sippy cup and hasn't taken a bottle at daycare since Monday. Not only does this mean that I can stop cleaning and making the bottles every night and it will be easy to keep him hydrated in the hot summer months and he can be "slightly" more trusted to not get milk all over everything at dinner,...but most importantly I can STOP PUMPING at work! Woot!

2 - I think it has been long enough, that I'm prepared to state out loud that Todd has started sleeping all night in his crib about 4 nights a week! Even on the nights he does wake up is isn't until after 3:30, and he's been going right back to sleep after nursing. (Now I have to knock on wood and pray that this public declaration doesn't undo all of this progress...)

And he's sleeping well at daycare for naps even though he's sleeping on a mat in his new room. That change is always a little worrisome as a parent. It is hard to imagine how it works, but these teachers have been doing it for so long that they make it work...and peer pressure is a wonderful thing in the toddler set. I think he's making the transition from 2 naps to 1 slowly as well.

3 - About a month after the first battle of wills, Heather finally seems to have made the break through to being fully potty trained. For a few weeks she was just peeing at home (or with her parents) and depending on diapers at school and for #2. We started trying overnights in underwear again, which went well and lead to a diaper-free weekend. Which in turn led to another (but thankfully quicker) battle of wills of using the potty for #2. And a few days after that, R was present at daycare when Heather needed to pee, which lead to diaper-freedom there, too. She still doesn't seem 100% sold on public pottys, but she has enough control that this hasn't cause any accidents.

I'll end the possibly blackmail worthy discussion before I get in trouble. I'm glad this is over and I'm excited about adding Cars to the movie selection.

4 - Todd has also started acting like a picky toddler. He still loves meat and fruit and bread, but any vegetables, plain noodles or new foods get unceremoniously hurled off of his tray. Joy.

5 - Todd is also getting 2 more bottom teeth, which will bring him up to 8 total. I keep meaning to look at the back of his gums and see if there is any sign of molars yet.

6 - Heather is totally compliant and happy one minute, and completely defiant the next.

Oh, 3...you cranky b*tch.

7 - And an observation. It was 4 years ago about this time that we found out we were expecting. So for four years I have either been pregnant or breastfeeding (or both). It's not clear when Todd will be done nursing and I'm not in a hurry to stop him. It is just fascinating to know what our bodies can accomplish, and I suppose I will be a little sad when this era is over. It is just one of many ways to mark how our lives and our kids have change in addition to all of the milestones above.

Truthfully, I'm perfectly happy to be finished with the whole pregnancy thing and I won't be sad to pass along my pump and bottles. But I hope that the nursing isn't close to being done. Somewhat selfishly, because then I have to come up with a new method for putting him to bed. :-P

Strange

2010-06-09T13:23:00.003-04:00

The yard sale is over, the DVR is under control (and not growing much on a daily basis), there is nothing 'big' on the horizon, potty training is moving in a positive/less time intense direction, my need to pump seems to be coming to an end, I've done pretty well with the first week & a half of packing Heather's lunch...and yet I'm still feeling pretty overwhelmed.

Odd.

I need to go to bed earlier, need to get/stay caught up on dishes, need to straighten the house from the post-yard sale uproar, need to deal with cat messes, need to take advantage of the nice weather, need to plant the flowers (which are growing wonderfully even though they aren't in the ground), need to deal with very overdue thank you notes, need to cook dinner every night in a way that doesn't bore me to tears but does provide food that my family will eat and I need to have a little me time to relax, knit and maybe (*gasp*) have a conversation with my husband.

Not to mention the emails to reply to, the travel arrangements to be made, the laundry, the need to put together something that I can wear to a wedding, the gifts for said wedding and overdue gifts from two weddings last year, baby gifts for this year and last, and a bunch of house projects that are overdue. Oh, and then there are the four or five knitting/crochet projects that are 95% done, the pants that are 50% hemmed and the dozen or so projects that need to be photographed.

I don't want to sound whiny, because in general things are just fine around here. Everyone is healthy, and the kids are as happy as a 3 year old and a 1 year old will allow themselves to be. :-P I'm just at one of those points where there is so much to do, but the moment that I get a little time I just want to say "screw it", do the bare minimum and play with yarn until bedtime...or until an hour after I should really be going to bed. I need to snap myself out of this bad cycle. And somehow I need to do it without taking a whole day off to straighten up the house, kitchen and laundry. Besides, I'm pretty sure that if I did take a day off I would just want to sit around and be lazy, and I wouldn't actually get caught up.

If anyone figures out how to manipulate the space-time continuum in my favor, please gimme a call.

Whee!

2010-06-04T12:27:00.003-04:00

Time continues to rush by in a whirlwind that is hard to express. I feel like I've been thinking about things I want to post a lot lately, but there always seems to be at least a few higher priority things on my to do list. And next thing you know it is the end of the day or an hour past the time I wanted to go to bed...

To get myself back in the swing of posting, I'm going to try to do quick snippets (kind of like my FB status updates), just to get something up here again. I hate to even suggest this...but when the new iPhones come out, R is getting one and I'm getting his old one, so maybe the ability to do quick posts from my phone will help me develop some new habits. (And bonus, I'm counting the new phone as his Father's Day present! :-) Not sure if he knows that...)

My random list from March is still pretty accurate. But there are a few new tidbits.

- Todd's favorite foods are fruit, meat, pizza and bread. He'll tolerate other stuff, but lately I'm noticing that he is much less willing to try anything that goes on his tray. Sometimes he'll try new things after a few bites of fruit or he'll let some noodles in while he chows down on the meat sauce...but some times he is clearly NOT willing to each some of the food being offered. I tried to enjoy his openness to food while it lasted. Looks like we've got two picky eaters in the house now.

- Todd is all about pointing - this started soon after his birthday. Wait, what? You say. Yes, he had a birthday and I haven't documented it in the least. And here we are more than a month past. Ahem.

Anyway, he's been pointing a ton, which is helping to curb some of his new toddler behavior. We've entertained the frustration territory where he knows.what.he.wants and can't tell us. Some use of pointing and signing "more" helps, but there is definitely some toddler angst brewing in our formerly "always easy going" guy.

- Todd's words: kitty was first and he still calls all animals kitty, but it's a process. :-) Other new words include ball, duck, mama, dada and uh-oh. I get the sense that there are probably a few more, but as a second child you just don't get the same kind of undivided attention and child #1. But you do have a constant source of entertainment and much more TV access than your older sibling did at your age, so I think it all evens out in the end.

- Since we were feeling like things were going smoothly (!) and we had a lot of busy weekends coming up, a few weekends ago we took away Heather's diapers. It was clear from her experiences in underwear that she had the ability to 'hold it' until she got a diaper on and could keep her underwear dry for hours at a time. For fear of significantly embarrassing my future teenage daughter and because I don't want to rehash all of our struggles...I'll just say that Heather is wearing underwear at home and putting all of her pee in the potty when she's with mommy and daddy. Why she refuses to use the potty at daycare or do #2 in the potty is something we can't quite comprehend or bribe her into doing. With busy weekends, we're currently playing the waiting game and hoping that she decides to go the rest of the way on her own. And I'm thankful that there was at least some positive result to our weekend of struggle.

Her tenacity and stubbornness is certainly inherited and will serve her well as an adult. No matter how frustrating it is as a 3 year old.

- We've added a new movie into the obsession rotation - one of my favorites. The Sound of Music. Awesome. And we continue to look forward to taking her to see Toy Story 3 in the theater. Though we still need to figure out who will watch Todd while we go...

- My knitting and crochet mojo has returned full force. I'm trying to use any evening time I have for sewing/mending projects and project finishing to avoid having any more projects that are 95% finished. I need to make some evening time for photography while we still have a little light after the kids go to bed. Or to let Heather help me on the weekend during on of Todd's naps.

- Speaking of Todd sleep, the improvements continue. 3 nights of the past week he has slept the entire (and I mean entire) night in his crib from bedtime to wake-up. And most of the other nights, the wake-ups have been minimal or short-lived. Bedtime has been a little bit of a mixed bag, but since the generally trend is all about improvements, I'm not complaining. I just need to go to bed earlier once we get through the yard sale this weekend.

Favorite Foto Friday - Easter

2010-04-09T09:21:00.003-04:00

We had beautiful weather and a nice family day this year.

Something...

2010-03-25T12:58:00.003-04:00

A short, random post is better than nothing...right?

I just logged into Google Reader for the first time in a week and have almost 850 unread items. I've been skimming my personal and work email so lightly that I have hundreds of messages that I haven't even opened because I know I will delete them and they are adding up fast. The only reason I'm keeping up on facebook and have even looked at my personal email is because I can access them on my phone. Work, home, the kids...life is just busy right now. I can't pinpoint just one thing. But I think part of it is a desire to take advantage of the lovely weather we've been having combined with a serious of short term deadlines at work.

I'm not complaining. It would be nice to be a little less behind on the housework and be a little more rested, but I'm just doing the best I can to keep up and take care of myself. And with a little grandparent assistance this weekend I hope to come out a little closer to "caught up" on Monday.

Random kid facts:

- Todd is getting all four top, middle teeth at once. The two middle ones are a little further through, but all four of them are marching down together. He gotten as cranky or as restless as Heather used to, but there was some more night-waking.

- Todd's sleep is better but still not consistent. It is so sporadic that I never know if it will be a wake 1 time or a wake 4-5 times night. But I'm thrilled that he generally starts the night in his own bed and as long as we don't royally screw up his schedule with out of the house activities, he'll nap there on the weekends, too. In the past week he had a 6 hour stretch one night and woke every 2-3 hours the next.

- Heather's current movie obsession is Toy Story. She would literally watch the whole thing every day if we would let her. The nice weather has distracted from the obsession a little bit, or at least kept us busy enough that there just isn't time for TV in the evenings, but I'm not sure when the last day passed that she didn't ask for something from one of the DVDs. We've basically decided that Toy Story 3 will be her first movie at the theater. I can't wait!

- Todd is crawling, pulling up and very close to cruising. I think he's been amenable to being in the exersaucer once in the last two weeks. If I need to cook, a better strategy is to put him in his high chair with snacks. It keeps him happy and he's eating enough that a snack before dinner won't ruin his appetite.

- Some nights he has eaten as much at dinner as I have. And he is only drinking his third bottle at daycare once a week. Now if only he would learn to drink from a cup and I would have some hope that I can stop pumping in a month.

- Most of the time lately Heather has been pretty delightful. She can be so happy, so helpful, so independent, so cooperative...and then with no warning she becomes a stubborn crying child who Will. Not. do whatever it is that you are nicely asking her to do and that we've done a million times before. I think these tantrums are harder because they are so sudden and unexpected and so vigorous.

- Her only other frustrating behavior is her propensity for grabbing things (especially toys) out of Todd's hands. Her toys, his toys, shared toys, etc. And she's showing a fondness for things that are "his". Honestly, I'm not really sure how to set the boundaries for what is shared (should be most things) and what is Heather's or Todd's. There are a few clear items (Heather's favorite blanket)...but otherwise it is slightly tricky territory and I have a feeling it won't really be solved until Todd is old enough to walk up to Heather and take things back. Fun times ahead!

- We went to the Science Center a few weeks ago and had a really nice time. I am pretty sure that Heather would have been happy to stay until they closed at 7pm. As we were leaving she told me she "is sad that it is time to leave now." She was clearly tired, but overall very well behaved and listened well. She enjoyed the robots, the trains, the water play area and the science exploration area.

- Heather is officially done with naps on the weekend. Despite how tired she was when we got home from the science center, she wouldn't even nap that day. She's still doing some napping at daycare, but weekend napping is a no-go. I'm much more at peace with it than I expected to be. Some days it becomes "movie time" for her obsession as noted above, and in general even if she's just playing I can get some things done, knit, do dishes, fold laundry, etc. We manage to have some quiet-ish time, and since it no longer results in a bedtime meltdown at 7pm I can live with it. I'm a little sad in a selfish way that we'll never have a period when both kids are taking an afternoon nap, but since Todd doesn't seem to be ready for one nap a day yet, that period was going to be short anyway. And at least now we can try to plan around his two naps instead of 3 different naps for 2 kids.

- It actually seems like there is much more to tell you, but my head is blank and my food break is over.

Favorite Foto #2

2010-03-12T16:53:00.002-05:00

Well, if nothing else, Annie is getting me to post a little more often.

When she posted the theme for the week (sunshine), this was the first picture I thought of. It has always been a favorite. Not only because of the way Heather and I are outlined by the sunlight but also because it is from my first Mother's Day weekend.

Participating

2010-03-05T09:51:00.003-05:00

Since I've been a very sporadic blogger lately, I'm taking the inspiration that Annie is providing and participating in her favorite foto friday challenge. Today's theme is "you" and I admit that this one is a little hard. I'm generally pretty critical of photos of myself, I tend to favor the ones from when I weighed a little less and most of the ones I truly like are of me with a kid where the shot really isn't of me. There is one from 8 or 9 years ago in Austin that I like, but it isn't on flickr and most of the others in which I like my expression, my clothes or hair annoys me. Did I mention that I'm too critical? :-)

But, I managed to find one that I like, that doesn't have the kids and that is not a vanity shot from the period when I was at my lowest weight.

I believe this was on a "sunset cruise". I know it was during our honeymoon in Grand Cayman. And no, I don't remember what I was drinking, but I'm sure it was brightly colored and overly sweet. ;-)

It's never...

2010-03-01T10:03:00.004-05:00

...too snowy to go to the playground. The snow pants, mittens and bulky coat provided double duty as extra padding during the inevitable slips and falls on the snow-covered climber.

More updates to come whenever work stops kicking my butt.

Three

2010-02-09T16:31:00.002-05:00

My charming, intelligent, strong-willed, independent, sweet, caring, nurturing, independent, stubborn, smart, happy and independent daughter is three years old today. Despite being totally stressed out by this whole snow situation going on (don't get me started), I'm thrilled and proud to be her mom today. Even when she's refusing to nap, asking to have cupcakes for breakfast and requesting her 1,498th viewing of Wall-E, I'm happy to be her mommy. (Or mama, depending on her mood.)

3 years ago at this time I was trying to get the hang of breastfeeding, watching daddy change her diapers, watching her sleep in her incubator and praying for her temperature to go up so she could stop sleeping in there, and waiting for the grandparents to make their first visit.

As I was going to sleep last night I was remembering 3 years ago when it just seemed like a normal Thursday night, until I got up at 2:45am to go to the bathroom...and life would never be the same again. I remember as we were leaving the house thinking that the next time I would be home we'd have a baby.

I don't feel like I can adequately capture what the last three years has meant or all of Heather's wonderful expressions, quirks and traits. I think that is why I write so many random bits here, to try to fill in the whole picture with bits and pieces. I only wish that more people could get to know such a special girl as well as I do.

Here's to another year in the world of Heather!

It's Friday? Whooosh.....

2010-02-05T14:12:00.003-05:00

Whoosh is the sound that the weeks keep making as they fly past quicker than I can imagine. Busy at work, trying to get caught up/stay caught up at home, watching my kids grow up every minute and occasionally having a few moments to just be "Amy" - not mother or architect or wife.

After my last LONG post about Heather and her pacifier, the plan was to quickly follow up with a post about Todd and how he has been changing. whoosh...

He's 9 months old.

You read that right. NINE months. I told a few friends at lunch today and they were shocked. And they haven't even lived it. :-)

So let's see.
- Last night I saw him clap for the first time. This was immediately after he was laughing out loud at his sister jumping up and down around him. Adorable.

- There is no question about his ability to sit up on his own, although he would prefer to stand at every and any opportunity. You can stand him up next to a toy and he's happy to hang on. Or he's happy to stand while holding onto your hands. The last couple of times I suggested the exersaucer or the jumperoo, he was NOT amused.

- He now seems to enjoy eating, is purposefully putting food in his mouth and working hard to chew and swallow. A couple of weeks ago, lots of things were being put in his mouth and then he'd let them fall out. Or he would be just as happy to play with his food with his hands as he was to put it in his mouth. He's also had an unfinished 3rd bottle at daycare for the first time this week - so his solid food intake is definitely on the rise.

- As a follow on to his eating, it is really nice to have someone eating my cooking again and not just the fruit. He really seemed to enjoy the chicken & noodles with mashed potatoes that his sister wouldn't touch.

- He's not crawling (fine!), but he's no longer hesitant about going from sitting to a crawling position. Especially if something that he wants is further away than his arm's reach. But he can't get back to a sitting position by himself either, although I'm guessing that it is just a matter of time.

- Just the fact that he's rolling more than he ever has before makes it clear that he is more interested in mobility than he ever has been before. If he's like his sister, he'll practice these new moves and skills for a long time before he tries to walk. But I don't think we know the full extent of his personality yet, so we shall see. :-)

- A new favorite game is letting Daddy and Heather build towers of blocks, and then Todd knocks them over. This used to be one of Heather's favorite games, and 3-4 blocks is a sufficient number for knocking over. So it is a short and repetitive game! Since I refuse to cook dinner on my birthday, I hope to get in on this action this weekend, too.

The pacifier is gone...and a ramble about making changes.

2010-02-01T11:00:00.001-05:00

Yes, you read that right. Heather's pacifier is GONE! It's gone for good and its never coming back! We would have a party to celebrate, except that her birthday is next week and two parties in two weeks might be a bit much. We don't want her expecting another one when she potty trains. :-)

I think the majority of my readers know me personally, but there might be a few lurkers out there...and really even for those of you who know me I think there is value in documenting what has gone on and my thoughts about it. Besides, this blog is the closest thing we have to a baby book for either child, so if I'm not going to go into gritty details occasionally then what is the point, right?

Let's go back to the beginning. I still remember viscerally how miserable I was at Heather's 1 week appointment. I'm pretty sure she would have nursed 24-7 if I would have let her. The relief that came when the pediatrician gave a thumbs up to offering her a pacifier swept over my whole body and made me a happy mommy again.

The girl continued to have a HUGE need to suck as a baby and then a strong need for the pacifier to get through teething and also as a lovey. It helped her calm down after every tantrum and often after an injury, too. Probably her best time to ditch it developmentally was this time last year, but we didn't want to risk screwing up her sleep right before having a baby or have her tie the pacifier loss to the baby.

I swear there were a few times over the past 4-6 months that I thought we were NEVER going to get rid of the thing. Even though she was barely using it outside of her bed or the house, we still couldn't make it go away. By Christmas we only had two left (I gradually removed the ones that weren't her favorite ones and a favorite one broke), and we only took one with us to visit family. That one broke right before we left and the paci-free trip was the most miserable 5 hours I've ever spent in a car.

BUT, the past week or two, she seems to be coming out of the 2 1/2 year developmental spurt. I don't know if you've read about this, but I've heard it described as "6 months on, 6 months off". Basically for 6 months they are calmer, more easy going and more even-tempered. And then the next 6 months they are moodier and more prone to tantrums, acting out and testing boundaries. Normally 12-18 mos, 2-2 1/2, and 3-3 1/2 are the "calm" periods and 18-24 mos, 2 1/2-3 and 3 1/2-4 are the "testing" periods. The first few weeks or months of each phase being the worst of it.

So we're one week from her birthday and the calmness seems to have arrived. She is SO pleasant and being more helpful than she has been. When she gets upset it doesn't last as long, she's less prone to bursts of crying, she's testing less and she's more likely to ask nicely without being prompted. (Yesterday was the best Sunday we've had in months!) I'm not trying to imply that she's been a constant terror for the past 6 months. As 2 year olds go, we've definitely got a good one. Especially when it comes to public behavior and general listening. But even the best kids have difficult periods. And there has been many a night the past few months that I was relieved to get her to bed so we could all get a break from each other or frustrated that she seemed to be crying more often than her baby brother...

Back to the pacifier - Thursday night at bedtime we couldn't find it. We looked in all of the usual places and it wasn't anywhere. Bedtime was a little rough and whiny, but nothing compared to when she was without it at Christmastime. And she only woke once overnight! Friday night at bedtime she looked for it briefly and didn't whine for it until my final "check-in" when she was stalling, and she only woke up once overnight.

Saturday night and Sunday night she didn't even ask for it at bedtime, she slept through the night and she only mentioned it once during the day yesterday! We officially have a toddler who is pacifier-free! And Todd doesn't seem to be very dependent on his, so I'm hoping sometime in 2010 we'll be a paci-free house. Yay!

I guess I just wanted to talk about the benefits about making changes during "calm" developmental windows to make them easier on us and our kids. Yes, we are the parents and we could have taken Heather's pacifier away whenever it suited us. (And trust me, we've tested the water on sleeping without the pacifier every few weeks for the past few months.) But by waiting until she was in a good developmental window for change, we made the change less traumatic on her and on us. (FWIW, she moved to a big girl bed a month ago with no problem...so I'm really talking about changes that are a big deal for the child, not just any and every change.)

As parents, we always seem to be second-guessing ourselves about whether we're being too harsh or too lenient. We don't want to be holding fast to rules just so that we can "win", but it is important to set boundaries to prevent the child from running the show and to give them the comfort of knowing that you are in charge. (As independent as they might be, toddlers do actually want us to be in charge and set boundaries...no matter how independent they may act.) Like everything else in parenting, it is a big balancing act, one that we are constantly fine tuning and adjusting. So I suppose I wanted to document a time when I feel like we got one "right". We seemed to strike a good balance between setting gentle boundaries and waiting for the right developmental window for the big change. There were certainly some rough and frustrating moments along the way...but I don't think I've come away from this experience with any big regrets.

And I'm hopeful that this period of calm with bring a Heather who is truly ready to be a big girl and choose to use the potty. :-) She's in a big girl bed, has ditched the booster seat, is drinking from a regular cup at the table and is mostly eating with utensils instead of her fingers. It's just a matter of time....right?

******************************************************

For the curious, the big developmental spurts (aka 'bad periods' for change) are 3-5.5 mos, 8-11 mos, 18-24 mos, 30-36 mos and 42-48 mos. My primary references for this developmental stuff are these two blogs, and both sites list reading reference material and have good search engines. I know there are people out there who think these spurts are just excuses and there is always something happening with your kids. But I've read enough parenting boards to see that the majority of sleep/behavioral problem posts cluster at the beginning of these spurts. Sure, there are growth spurts, teething, illness and other factors...but there is no doubt in my mind that these developmental spurts are real. They are more obvious in some kids than others...but they are real.

http://www.isabelagranic.com/bed-timing/

http://www.askmoxie.org/

Sleep V2.0

2010-01-14T16:18:00.002-05:00

I was looking back at old posts to get Heather's past weight statistics and I ran across this post. Ha!

How things change. This time, we're making relatively rare efforts to put Todd to sleep in his crib and just "getting through" all the waking up and overnight nursing sessions. It's probably a combination of feeling like he can't possibly sleep with us forever, knowing that he's doing more reverse cycling than she ever did, and being so much more tired that I can't even fathom having to get out of bed multiple times a night. And I'm sure if you would have told me back then that it would be possible to function at work on less sleep I would have thought you were crazy...but you can push your body to do a lot of things.

I think we're in one of those "not ideal but not so awful that we're trying to change things" stages of baby sleep. Todd's also lucky that I'm even more laid back then I was the first time around. :-)

Nap schedule, what nap schedule?

Kid stuff

2010-01-08T16:35:00.000-05:00

Before we get to the "new year" post or try to wrap up our holidays, I want to document some facts about the kids right now. Some random and some more milestone oriented.

1 - No matter how many times we tell Heather they are called 'Smurfs', she says 'snurfs'. :-)

2 - I know that some kids have things they pretend a lot. Some kids turn every thing into a train. Some kids turn everything into a truck. Some kids are all about their kitchens. Heather likes all these things, but I've noticed lately that the focus of her pretending is on family. If she's got two dragons, one is the mother and one is the baby. The mother takes the baby to the doctor for a check-up. Her baby dolls get fed and get their diapers changed. Her penguin gets fed in his high chair. Even her food is prone to becoming the mommy, daddy and baby apple slices, noodles, french fries, etc. I suppose if imitation is the highest form of flattery, then R and I should be extremely flattered.

3 - Todd still sleeps better on us or between us than anywhere else. And we're too tired to force him into his crib. He doesn't hate his crib and near the end of our vacation he took a 55 minute nap in there...so we will continue trying to help him sleep in there. But I don't find it worth it to spend 2 hours trying to get him to sleep in there when one of us is usually happy to have a good excuse to spend that time on the couch watching TV. :-) And I got a pikkolo carrier for Christmas partially with the intention of being able to wear him when we both have too much to do to hold him. He has yet to fall asleep on my back, but he has put his head down a few times.

(Update since I started this on Tuesday: He slept in his crib for 2 1/2 hours at the beginning of the night. There is hope...)

4 - Heather has rejected the booster seat in most circumstances. At home she's now kneeling on a regular chair and drinking from a small, regular cup. She will still (usually) wear a bib, but as she is finally...usually...getting good about using utensils, we may be nearing the end of the bib era as well.

Have I mentioned that she'll be 3 one month from tomorrow? 8-|

5 - Todd continues to be a very easy going little man. I don't even feel like we need to use signs with him because he really only gets upset when he's hungry or tired or wants attention. There is very little random crying and crankiness. His "even keel" personality is very much in contrast to his sister's. It will be interesting to see how this translates in toddlerhood. I'm not going to fool myself into thinking he'll never have a tantrum, but I'm curious if the roller coaster ride won't be quite as extreme. Only time will tell. I'm certainly thankful for a baby that can be put down for a few minutes when dealing with a dramatic Heather outburst.

6 - Todd is also just beginning to show signs of wanting to GO. He's had the ability to roll for months, but he doesn't do it much. He's been able to sit up for a couple of months and likes to be held to stand, but as long as he has a toy or a person nearby for entertainment, he hasn't been acting like he longs to explore they way that Heather did. But the past few days he has starting rolling and stretching for things. He can now lean all the way over and stretch to reach something from a sitting position, *and* get himself up in a sitting position again. At the end of december, that maneuver left him on his belly with one or both feet awkwardly folded under his belly. I'm not sure that crawling is upon is, but I think that once he decides to do it he'll just go.

7 - The switch to the big girl bed has gone pretty well for Heather. Bedtime and staying asleep isn't any more difficult than it was before the switch. We're still dealing with some stalling and sporadic wakings...but then some nights things go pretty smoothly and she doesn't wake at all, so I think it is more of a developmental and residual holiday issue than anything.

8 - It's not really clear how much he's eating, but Todd seems to enjoy putting food in his mouth and playing with the food on his tray. It sounds like he might be eating off a spoon for his daycare teachers, so I suppose we should try that again if we ever want applesauce and yogurt to be viable options that don't require a wardrobe change. He's growing fine and I'm getting to eat my meals while they are hot, so I'm not worried. ;-) You know, with you second kid, you don't worry so much!

9 - We've had some nice snow so far this winter. One December day involved all four of us in the backyard. Although the hand-me-down snowsuit we got for Todd is really too small, so I'm not sure if we'll try to get him something else or just leave the snow diving to Heather. Yet again, I realize that I should have a pair of snow pants. Must get them before next winter.

10 - We're beginning to make plans for both birthday parties. Heather is entering that age where we start to talk about inviting friends from daycare. And Todd's birthday is in that late part of spring where we have to decide if we're willing to take the risk of having an outdoor party.

If I wasn't so tired, I could probably think of some more...but this will have to do for today. Have a nice weekend!

Just too busy

2009-12-16T11:28:00.002-05:00

I'm sorry, dear readers, for not being more attentive to you lately. I'm not going to give you a long song and dance about my lack of posts recently. Let me just say this - from 6pm Thursday until 7am Monday this past weekend, I did not touch my knitting once. Does that help you understand my world right now?

Life consists of trying to do a decent job at work, trying to maintain a sanitary home, feeding my family, and creating a happy holiday (especially for Heather since she's old enough to "get it").

So I've gone above and beyond my usual holiday preparations in that Heather and I have baked some cookies this year. But in other ways I am just barely getting by (there is clean laundry, but most of it is sitting in baskets getting more wrinkly by the day).

Other than the sleep department, things actually haven't been bad, just busy and tiring. There was a moment last night when I was making dinner, entertaining Heather by making cookie dough and trying to tend to Todd in the high chair that my life felt just a tad ridiculous...but that is really just because R was running a quick errand and his return made things feel semi-normal again. I have high praise for single parents, especially as this extra-busy time of year.

I'm hopeful for a little knitting/picture/blog/ravelry/me time during the holiday break. But that will be determined by how Heather responds to getting a big girl bed for Christmas and if Todd agrees to nap in his crib anytime soon.

I'll ask again this weekend...

2009-12-10T13:33:00.003-05:00

For the past few weeks we've started to talk about Christmas with Heather. The tree is up (no ornaments yet) and we've mentioned Santa a few times. Each time his name comes up, Heather tells us that she doesn't want to sit on his lap. Um, ok. I have trouble believing that she remembers doing so last year (we have the obligatory crying on santa's lap picture), but we certainly aren't going to force her. The current plan is to go visit this weekend, but we have no illusion that she'll talk to him. Fine.

So last night at dinner I asked her what she would like Santa to get her for Christmas.

Her response (while shoveling macaroni and cheese into her mouth) was "Mac'n Cheese".

I asked her what Santa should bring Todd.

"Mac'nCheese because he'll be able to eat it when he gets bigger".

I guess we could have saved ourselves a lot of money on presents if we would have asked sooner...

Tidbits

2009-12-07T23:25:00.003-05:00

For those who are concerned, we basically seem to be healthy again. There are still some nose wipes and limited coughs, but no worse than before we were hit with this plague. The worrisome thing is that we're still busy and not getting enough sleep, so it feels like we could be hit again at any time. Trying to get as much sleep as we can and wash our hands a lot...

I'm up because Todd wouldn't let me put him down all evening, no matter how passed out he appeared to be in my arms, and I had a few things I had to finish once R took him off my hands. I felt the edge of his first tooth and gave him some tylenol...so hopefully this clingy phase has an explanation and will be over soon.

And, in the embarrassing column, R and I might have to come up with something more encoded than just spelling. No, Heather hasn't learned to spell the words we spell to each other, but she's becoming better at repeating the spellings. R spelled a more adult word at dinner and she spelled it right back even though she didn't know what she was spelling. It's a good thing I didn't have anything in my mouth at that moment, because I couldn't stop laughing for about five minutes.

Hee.

Whew!

2009-11-25T13:05:00.004-05:00

There is a draft of a post that I started on 11/9. I promise to come back to that subject matter sometime soon, but for the moment just a quick catch-up from M-family land.

On 11/10, after my pile system triumph I went home not feeling so great. I managed to plow through the regular evening routine and then collapsed in bed as soon as Heather was settled. I stayed home sick Wednesday and Thursday. Thursday night R was struck by it and all four of us stayed home Friday. I was still feeling too poorly to take the kids to school and I didn't want to share my germs with all the kids. So, of course, after a day of taking care of Heather, she woke up with it Saturday morning. And just when we thought we were out of the woods, Todd was sent home with a fever Tuesday and Heather went to school but felt not-so-great on Wednesday. (If I could have a do over for Wednesday morning, I would listen to her and give her the medicine she asked for. I continued taking motrin even after my chills were gone for the general achiness, so why didn't I listen?!?!) Thursday was our final family day of being home sick. Heather woke up cranky, but was feeling better after a few extra hours of sleep. Todd was cranky and coughing. And after the mommy-guilt on Wednesday I decided it was better just to take one more day of recovery at home.

Since last Friday we've all been back to our regular schedule, and slowly we are shedding the coughing and crankiness and tiredness of being sick. Being the last to get sick, Todd is the last to get back to normal...but he is generally happy and the worst coughing seems to be in the morning, so I am keeping my fingers crossed that four days of being able to sleep in and nap as needed will get us all back to our healthy selves.

I know that I could use some more sleep. Last night, Todd fell asleep with Rudy around 8:30. I grabbed him when I went up to bed at 10, and he nursed. Then the little stinker opened his eyes and gave me a big smile, and proceeded to play and kick in bed for the next hour. Sigh. It would have been really cute if I wouldn't have been desperate to go.to.sleep.

See? Adorable smile. But more so at 8pm than 11pm.

I guess if he does it again this weekend we can just give him to an available grandparent and go to sleep until he gets hungry...

ETA: For those who are curious, I have no idea what we had. From a little WebMD reading, it sounds more likely that we had some sort of flu than a cold. But our fevers were mostly mild and at least for me the achiness was limited to my head and neck. I suppose I could bug one of our pediatrician friends to suggest a diagnosis, but none of us (so far, *knock on wood*) was sick enough to need to see a doctor. And motrin was all that was administered. So there is a little part of my brain wondering if what we had was a mild flu...and given the earliness of the season, was it h1n1...but I suppose we'll never know for sure.

The pile system

2009-11-10T15:47:00.004-05:00

I used to be a pretty organized person. In school and my first few years of work, I was pretty darn organized. My system at work has slipped over the years. I can generally find things, but it takes a little longer and I don't have the same confidence about being able to find things...even though I know that they are probably there. I think it is probably representative of how my brain feels...and I assume that my organizational skills will rebound when I am less sleep deprived and mentally scattered. (I hope.)

Working on multiple projects at once has generally resulted in a system of piles on my desk. There are a few things in binders or folders, but it is mostly piles. And sometimes when I leave for the day they are neat piles. And sometimes they aren't.

We just got a phone call asking questions about a conference call that occurred 2 weeks before Todd was born. There were no meeting minutes because we were closing in on a very tight deadline, but I knew that I would have taken notes.

I managed to find the notes from the conference call in question WHILE we were still on the phone with the client. Woot! Makes me feel like my old organized and dependable self again.

I think I will reward myself with some chocolate from Mr. Vendy to eat while I type up these notes for the client.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-11-04T09:25:00.002-05:00

1999

2009-10-28T09:26:00.003-04:00

It was a big year for me. Putting together a resume and portfolio. Graduating from college. Getting my first apartment and living alone (well, you know, besides the cat). Getting my first real job. My first relationship that would last for more than a few months. Changing my legal residence to Pennsylvania. My first cell phone. The first time I got snowed out of Buffalo on my way there (Thanksgiving).

Really, the one big thing that could have happened that year and didn't was getting my first car. (Thank you public transportation, for all of the money you saved me!)

All of that makes 2009 a constant stream of "10 years ago" memories. I talked about my 10 year anniversary at work at the beginning of the summer. Now it is time for the other biggie.

10 years ago today was my first "official" date with my wonderful husband. (The unofficial first date happened a week earlier. Long story. :-P )

It's not something we really celebrate and I'm not looking to start. I probably wouldn't even remember what day in October it happened, except that it happens to fall on my BFF's birthday.

So, to the two most important R's in my life...
Happy ten years and Happy Birthday!

Almost Halloween

2009-10-27T10:54:00.005-04:00

Sometimes, I want to be one of those bloggers that has one topic per post. The kind who writes about things in a timely manner and posts with pictures regularly. Maybe someday, but not right now...for now, I hope you are just all happy that I'm posting more than once a month. I know I am!

First of all, Todd is 6 months old today!

Yeah, it went fast for us, too. In fact, I would say that his first 6 months seemed to go by a lot faster than Heather's. The combination of two kids + knowing what we're doing (as much as a parent ever does) + a somewhat easy going baby = whoosh!

How can you resist that face? And it isn't just the face, he has a lot to say, too. He's just starting to use some consonants and he really seems to like playing with the sounds that he can make. Not sure if he wants to be heard along with his chatty sister or if he just likes hearing his own voice.

He's sitting up great with support and starting to sit on his own for longer stretches. He's not usually upset when he topples, but he was not a fan of a face plant he took in the leaves this weekend during picture time. Oops.

Speaking of pictures, we had a session with Seedlings Photography this weekend. I haven't seen the preview yet (trying to be patient, since it has only been two days...), but the weather was gorgeous and the kids looked adorable, so I'm confident we'll have lots of great shots to choose from. And as long as there is at least one family picture where we all have decent expressions I will be happy. Heather was much less interested in sitting for those, especially after some time on the playground.

I realized Sunday morning while sprinting around to straighten up the house that I really hadn't given our wardrobe any thought. Partially because I assumed that we'd have to wear coats and partially because I've been so focused on Heather's costume that it just hadn't crossed my mind. But I think I managed to throw together some good choices, which included handknits for Todd and me.

And before you have a chance to ask me where the pictures of my 2009 sweaters and vest are (sigh), I will distract you with the finished sea horse costume. Worn for approximately 8 minutes. (My fingers are crossed that it stays on longer for future costume opportunities. If it doesn't, I won't be counting the ratio of time that I spent working on it versus the amount of time it spends on her body. I'll always have the pictures, right? Maybe we can get some video and a few more photo angles during trick or treat, too.)

I'm interested to see how trick or treat will go. I have a few neighbors in mind that aren't on our street and a few on our block. It's hard to predict if Heather will think that it is cool or a bit overwhelming. I'm not sure how much to talk it up or just be more matter of fact about it. I suppose we shall see!

Now that the big Halloween project is done, I'm trying to get caught up on life - sleep, laundry, dishes, yadda yadda yadda. I'm also hoping for a big stash dive this weekend and a case of startitis!

For those keeping score, I finished the sea horse costume on Saturday...in the car...on the way to the party. Some things never change.

"scr" evolution

2009-10-22T13:39:00.002-04:00

And a note on Heather's evolving speech.

Sunscreen used to be "sun-skeen". Now it is "sun-skween".
Ice cream is now "ice kweem" instead of "ice keem".

Adorable!

Still kicking

2009-10-22T08:58:00.003-04:00

Hi.

Yesterday I opened a blogger window on my desktop and left it open all day so that when I thought of something to write I could jot it down. I only managed to think of things to write while I was upstairs pumping and when I returned to my desk whatever I had been thinking of was lost.

I'm not going to use this post to whine or vent or complain. Yes, I'm tired. Yes, I've got a lot on my plate. But I know that it is just the current situation and it will get better and worse and better again. Todd's sleep will improve (it already has a itty bitty bit), I will finish Heather's costume and the other "almost done" projects in my basket, I will (eventually) get caught up on laundry and dishes again, etc, etc.

I am mostly here to remind myself of why I do this. I want to document my life. Sure, it would be great to be the kind of blogger that posts every day and always has pictures and takes pictures of my projects as soon as I finish them...(for the curious, the vest is done and has been worn several times, but hasn't been photographed yet)...but at this moment in my life that isn't me. Maybe I can be that blogger someday, but for right now I want to document what I'm doing, what my kids are doing and how I'm "surviving" as a working mom of two.

I also wish I was walking around with a tape recorder or a very convenient notebook. I hear Heather say something and think "I should post that"...and whoosh, the thought is gone as quickly as it came. I should probably look back at my facebook status updates and see if there are any gems in there that I should share here, too.

A few things:
- Todd is Very close to consistently sitting up on his own. He can sit pretty well in his new high chair (I took the leaves out of the table so we're all sitting around a circle instead of allowing half the table to be taken up with clutter) and we'll start offering a little food in a week or two.

- He's also going through some sort of developmental spurt that means he's eating every 3 hours around the clock and not staying asleep in his crib (mostly) even after being dead to the world in our arms. I'm waiting patiently for this to get better.

- Heather is looking and often sounding like a little adult, but she is 2 1/2 and no where NEAR adulthood. Trying to maintain patience with a child who looks like she should be totally rational and capable of following reasonable requests, but really isn't ready to do so 100% of the time is a challenge. Most of the time she is a pleasure and a lot of fun. When she isn't I try to put myself in her shoes and understand what part of our complicated adult world is giving her fits. Giving choices of the things she *can* do instead of telling her what she *can't* do has saved us from a tantrum more times than I can count.

- She asked to be a pink sea horse for Halloween. You can't buy a pink sea horse costume, so I'm making it. It is close to being done. I asked her to try it on Tuesday night and she refused for 30 minutes, claiming that she wants to be a butterfly instead. I'm proceeding with the sea horse costume. She's going to be that or nothing. She's got four chances to dress up...

- Heather is a constant observer of the world around her. She notices when other kids are crying. She notices when other kids are being unsafe. She watches older kids play. She occasionally jumps in without thinking, but is mostly somewhat cautious - feeling confident in her place in a situation before joining in. (Can't IMAGINE where she gets that...)

- Todd watches Heather, listens when we read and is generally a happy guy. He does get upset when he's hungry or overtired. But he is surprisingly happy to hang out while we are nearby. He is in the mouthing, grabbing, chewing stage, so I generally try to keep a toy available to him all the time.

- Heather loves to sing and listen to music. Reading books is a highlight of the day. And she loves being outside, swinging and climbing at the playground. The bike we have is still a little big, but I anticipate that it will be a big hit next spring when she has a little more length and strength.

- With few exceptions, Heather has only had her pacifier on the second floor of our house for the past couple of weeks, primarily in the crib. R suggested that we try for a week to keep it in the crib at all times. It took lots of reminding for a few days and several days after school I distracted her with a drink or a snack, but it seems to be easier now. She still comes out of the crib with it while she's still "waking up", but we leave it in her bed before we go downstairs. I don't think Todd is as dependent on it as Heather was, so maybe we will be a pacifier-free house sooner than I anticipated...

- Many of Heather's statements are "I'm going to do x, okay?". Sometimes this is said as she's already starting to do what she's said, not waiting for confirmation. Sometimes it is a confirmation of her strategy based on previous conversations. And sometimes is a statement about what she's pretending to be doing - what she's making in her kitchen, etc. The "okay" is said in a sweet, how-can-you-possibly-say-no tone of voice. Very similar to the "please" she uses when she's asking for a third serving of applesauce even though she hasn't touched the rest of her dinner.

Before I forget...

2009-10-15T10:02:00.004-04:00

I want to write down what I did last night in the hope that I can do it again. It wasn't a whole-family favorite, but I thought it was super yummy and I know it is a healthy side dish. Thanks to Shelly for the inspiration!

Quinoa stuffed peppers

Cook 1 cup quinoa in 1 cup portabella mushroom soup and 1 cup water according to package directions. 2 to 3 minutes before cooking time is up, add in 1/2 can of tomato paste, 1/2 tsp basil, 1 cup shredded jack cheese and 1/2 cup breadcrumbs (approximately). Stir together and simmer for 5 minutes.

Clean, and cut the top and bottom off of 4 peppers (I used orange peppers). Drizzle a little olive oil in the bottom of your casserole dish and spread it around with one of your peppers to coat. Set peppers in casserole and fill with quinoa mixture. Sprinkle the top with more shredded jack cheese and cover the dish with foil.

Bake on 375 for 25(?) minutes. I baked them for 20 minutes. This was not quite enough cooking time. The peppers were cooked and still had a little crispness (I hate soggy peppers), but probably could have used 5 more minutes or so to make them a little easier to cut. Although not everyone has to eat left-handed because they're nursing a baby with their right arm, so 20 minutes might be just fine for your family.

(I briefly thought about taking a picture of the finished peppers as I pulled them out of the oven...but then both kids started whining to eat and any thought of taking a picture was dashed until I sat down to write this post...)

The Vest

2009-09-16T13:27:00.006-04:00

I started describing the vest process in the notes section on Ravelry and realized I should probably blog about it with pictures in order for my description to make sense and possible help someone else. I apologize for the not-so-great cell phone photography, but honestly that's the only way a post like this is going to happen right now. If I wait until I have time to photograph it in natural light with a real camera, all of the evidence would be gone because the vest would be finished first. :-) There are better blogs out there if you really want precise directions, but I still wanted to share!

And surprisingly, the color rendition of the pictures I got (especially this one of the back) is pretty accurate.

Next, we look at the front. Can you see the steeks?

The yellow lines show the edge of the steek area stitches and the blue line shows where I'm going to (gasp!) cut my knitting. I will do the crochet reinforcing on either side of the blue line.

The depth of the yellow lines is also the amount of my knitting that I ripped out last Friday night. I went all the way back to the armholes in order to properly center the v-neck on the fair isle pattern. I also changed the way I did my decreases. See the nice line of "V" stitches along the arm edge below? That's my standard decrease method for sweaters. It maintains the nice line of "V" stitches and the body of the sweater kind of dies into it.

Turns out, this doesn't look good in fair isle knitting. Blech. (I've got no photographic evidence, you're just going to have to trust me on this one...) So the opportunity to switch my left-leaning decreases to right-leaning ones and vice-versa was an additional incentive to riiiiiip back.

I started knitting again on Friday night right after pulling out what was wrong. I knew I was going to have some good car knitting time on Saturday and I wanted to be able to GO without having to think or plan. Knitting the next few rows after 10pm did mean that I could GO on Saturday, but it also meant another dumb mistake. At the bottom of the armhole, I bound off 6 stitches. I should have bound of 6 stitches on each side of the midpoint of the armhole. The wide yellow line shows you how far I knit before I realized this mistake and the width of my bind-off.

Unwilling to rip back again unless absolutely necessary, I came up with a surgical solution. On either side of my steek area, I dropped down three stitches to the armhole bind-off row and added in extra decreases in the rows after the bind-off as I picked the stitches back up again. So instead of having a decrease every other row, after the armhole there is a decrease every row...getting to my desired number of decreases within 3 rows of the armhole bind-off.

But leaving me with extra yarn between my vest and my steek area. (In the white area below)

So before I can reinforce and cut my steeks, I'm going to have to spend a little time pulling the yarn slack into the cutting area of the steek. Basically, once it is done, I'm going to waste a little extra yarn. But since I'm not worried about running out, I decided my time was better spent fixing these areas at the end rather than re-knitting several inches.

Clear as mud?

Since Amanda just documented crocheted steeks on her blog and I'm going to do the same thing, I might take one of those fun "scissors with knitting" pictures for you, but I doubt I will document the whole process.

I've only got 12 rows left to the shoulders, and I will be able to deal with the yarn slack and the crochet reinforcement in the bus/car. So I hope to be cutting my knitting and picking up for the ribbed edgings sometime this weekend!

Todd at 4 months

2009-09-14T10:09:00.003-04:00

Before I forget again, Todd had his 4 month check-up on Friday. (4 months and 2 weeks to be exact)

His weight is 13 lb, 12 oz (17th percentile) and he's 25" tall (40th percentile) with a head circumference of 41 cm. So he gained 3 pounds, grew 2 1/2" and his head got 2 1/2 cm bigger in 2 months.

Todd is doing everything that the doctor asked about developmentally - starting to roll, putting his hands together, grabbing at things around him, using his voice - and during the exam he commented on how strong and what a pleasant baby he is. The doctor continues to give sleep advice that totally doesn't jive with our parenting style, but we're confident enough as parents that we're just ignoring that part of the visit. :-)

Personally, I could deal with a more consistent (and earlier) bedtime and more predictable naps...but since he's such a pleasant baby, he's just waking to eat overnight (*knock on wood*) and he doesn't need to be held/rocked/swayed for hours to get to sleep...I'm not motivated to do anything to change his sleep habits!

Todd enjoys being held to stand, likes sitting in the Bumbo much more than his sister did, still likes to just be put down on his own a few times a day, enjoys watching the world around him and loves sucking on his blankets. I'm also getting the impression that he's not a fan of driving at night. During a daytime trip he will alternate between sleeping and watching out the window/looking in his mirror. When he wakes up in the car when it's dark out it takes a long time to settle him back down and he usually doesn't settle totally unless he goes back to sleep. Looking back on it, I think Heather was similar. But it was easier to deal with since I was sitting next to her and had the glow worm in my arsenal...

Small Projects Calling...

2009-09-14T09:46:00.003-04:00

I think there is going to be a little detour from this goa l in my knitting 'verse.

I'm looking forward to sweater weather (sorry, other than a few trips to the pool I'm not really a summer gal) and before too long I'll have two new cardigans and a new vest. And I'm really excited to have them. The cardis just require me to carve out a little time with sewing needle and thread, and the vest is moving along well now after friday night's ripping back. I'm less than 3" from where I was when I ripped. Other than a dumb mistake made at the bottom of the armholes, which I fixed in a manner that looks sloppy now but won't be noticable once it is steeked, it is going well. :-) I'm also down to the waist on my top down bombshell and I only have about 20 more squares that need to have their ends woven in before I can start crocheting more on babette.

Really, the fact that I just have 3 projects in progress and 2 that need finishing is about right for my overtaxed brain. I don't want to have a ton of projects on the go. My brain can't handle it and I know from experience that you finish things faster if you just focus on one or two at a time. The problem, is that I have a really strong desire to FINISH something. Now. And, I kind of want to START something, too. Oh, and carrying a LITTLE project on the bus would be nice. I'm feeling simultaneously pulled to chip away at my big projects, because I know that's how they get done, and pulled toward my stash to do something little and fun. (I'm probably remembering the thrill of finishing a baby sweater and making a bib and 4 washcloths in one weekend the last time we went to Dayton.)

I think there is a really good chance that a hat or pair of mittens for someone in my family will get started soon. The only question is whether to follow in Stephanie's footprints and make a fair isle masterpiece for myself with local wool in my stash or to grab some nice, washable yarn to make new hats for one of my three family members (all three of them will need new winter hats due to growth or hat misplacement). I guess it just depends on what yarn calls to me when I hit the stash. And when I actually have time to look at the stash...

(I'm also thinking about next year's weekend retreat and imagining that it might be fun to just take a bunch of small projects so I can have the thrill of starting AND finishing multiple things on the trip. Oh the thoughts that make me giddy. ;-)

Riiiiip

2009-09-11T22:36:00.003-04:00

I just ripped back a substantial section of my fair isle vest. I've been debating it for a week. The vest has been sitting in "time out" and I've been working on my cotton top.

In addition to having an issue with my stitch count on either side of the v-neck, I took a look at my decreases and really decided that I wasn't happy with them. I decreased the way that I normally do along the armhole and neck edges, and I just didn't like how it looked with the stranded knitting.

I decided that there was no reason to keep aspects of the design that I didn't like when the vest has so much going for it. Add in the fact that I'm going to have some decent knitting time this weekend to reknit what I ripped and I decided it was time. I'm pretty sure that what I ripped back was about a week's worth of bus knitting. Maybe 1 1/2 weeks. So it's not like I just undid months of work. ;-)

6 years ago...

2009-09-08T08:42:00.002-04:00

...at this moment, I was on an airplane flying to Grand Cayman. Yep. 6 years ago at this time, R & I were heading out on our honeymoon. And I'm pretty sure my stomach was growling. Despite getting up long before the sun, we were stunned by the number of travelers at the airport on Monday morning (duh, business travelers) and we walked up to our gate just as boarding was finishing up. We had planned to buy breakfast in the airport, but had to settle for free (ah, those were the days!) beverages and pretzels to tide us over.

I'm actually finding it a little hard to wrap my head around the last six years. But having been back to work for a month now, I'm finding it a little hard to wrap my head around anything. I think I'm purely in survival mode for the time being. There is just too much to do, too few hours in the day and not enough uninterrupted sleep. But I'm not complaining. It is all worth it for these two happy campers that are clearly one of the outstanding outcomes of the decision to tie the knot 6 years ago.

Tally

2009-08-24T12:48:00.000-04:00

Looking back at this post, it's time to do a little scorekeeping and see where I am with 8 months of the year almost gone.

1 - Amelia, done
2 - Heather's striped sweater, done
3 - Samus, just needs zipper, 99% done
4 - Bristow, just needs reinforcing, 99% done
5 - Todd's blanket (I'm counting this under rule #6), done
6 - Fair Isle Vest, 65% done
7 - Former Bombshell Cotton top, 40% done
8 - Babette blanket, 50% done?
9 - Venezia Vest, yarn purchased, 0% done

At this point, I think getting all 12 items done before the end of the year is a stretch (unless the cleaning fairy shows up and Todd starts going to bed at 8pm...) but I'm pretty happy with the results of focusing my knitting time on a limited number of major projects and I could see myself continuing with the same strategy in 2010. Especially since Todd has such an impressive sweater wardrobe from my friends that I don't need to make him anything else for this winter!

Knitting (& crochet)

2009-08-24T12:35:00.000-04:00

When I started a draft of this post, it was going to be about knitting in July. I suppose that ship has sailed. Maybe it is more accurate to just call it Summer Knitting (& Crochet). Or Knitting (& Crochet) in 2009, since this represents all of my projects from this year other than Amelia and Heather's sweater (which I apparently never blogged about - oops!). So for those of you not on ravelry and the ravelers who have too many friends to keep up with, here are some project updates with pictures.

1 - Two projects for Todd.
The hat was made during one of our April trips to Dayton. I knew by that point that his blanket wasn't going to be done before he arrived and I was feeling a wee bit of guilt given that there was a fair isle hat ready for Heather upon her arrival and nothing for Todd. A fair isle hat would be silly for a May baby, but cables seemed reasonable. Somewhere during my maternity leave he started filling out the hat really well.
And, his blanket. Other than a pair of mitts, this is my first big completed crochet project. I found the pattern for the center of the square online and added rows of double crochet around it to make each square bigger. There are aspects of the square construction that got better as I went, and I bet in a few years there will be aspects of this that make me cringe. But given how much Todd loves nibbling on this blanket and the fact that it is a perfect light-weight but still snuggly blanket for a summer baby, I have no regrets.

I put the squares together with a single crochet-chain one combination that was inspired by the patterns in "Blueprint Crochet". Much simpler than Robyn's work, but it avoids sewing or creating a heavy "bump" of crochet stitches at the seam.

I think I had 6 or 7 squares of the blanket done before Todd was born. The other squares, the crocheting together and the crocheted edge were finished on maternity leave when I let Todd sleep on me so he would nap for longer than 15-20 minutes at a stretch or when I didn't feel like starting a household task because I knew he'd wake up in 15-20 minutes. ;-) It was a great project for picking up and putting down, especially the long rows of double crochet.

2 - Sweater for Baby Evelyn

(The photos should be adjusted to be less-yellow. The lightest shade in the stripes is really a light robin's egg blue.)

I'm really happy with how this one turned out and was a little sad to give it away, although I've known E's mommy my whole life and was glad to make her something special. The genesis of it was the result of a stash dive and a glance through my ravelry queue. This sweater was one of the reasons I bought the book that it is in and although I'm not crazy with the way the patterns are written and I think the book could be greatly improved by more charts and fewer abbreviations, I'm a confident enough knitter to rewrite things in a way that makes sense to my brain...which is what I had to do with the lace edging.

The original pattern is knit in one color and includes a textured/lace pattern on the sleeves, which I didn't do since I felt that it wouldn't work well in 4 colors. The stripes were really just because I didn't have enough of any one color of purple for an entire sweater and once I imagined a solid color flower on a background of stripes I was dying to make it. Weaving in the ends was a pain, but worthwhile in my opinion for a striking result.

3 - 95% Sweaters

I've got two projects listed as being 95% completed on ravelry. Really, if listing them as 99.99% completed was an option I would. I don't have photos yet, just snippits.

This is the sleeve of Samus. Everything is done except for sewing in the zipper. I've got the zipper and ribbon to back it with. I just need to sit down with the sweater, the zipper, the ribbon and sew the darn thing in. It's even blocked and fits great on my post-pardem body. I'm sure the heat and humidity is 95% of the reason that I haven't sat down with this wool sweater yet to finish it.

Below is the lovely yarn that I've used to knit my Bristow. It's really even further along than Samus since it is technically wearable. It's ends are woven in and it even has buttons. The thing I've discovered is because it is a fitted cardigan, the button band and button holes need reinforcement. I own the bias tape to do the reinforcing, I just need to sit down and sew it in. Again, a wool-silk yarn is not compatible with the heat and humidity we've had lately. Although it is chilly enough in my office that I probably could be wearing it...4 - Fair Isle Vest
This project was started earlier this year with alpaca yarn I bought at the local Knitting Festival from the alpaca farmers themselves. It didn't take me long to determine that I didn't buy enough of the chocolate and tan yarns to complete the whole thing, so during a visit to my local yarn shop this spring I purchased one skein each of a light pink, cranberry and eggplant alpaca yarn to make the fair isle more colorful. The i-cord was monotonous but the fair isle is surprisingly good bus knitting.

5 - Babette (still)
I have been forcing myself to use my "me" time at home to work on weaving in ends on the squares for this blanket. I'm not letting myself finish the bigger squares until the ends on the small, finished squares are done because I know that if I have to go back and weave in ALL of the ends when the squares are done this blanket will NEVER get finished, no matter how pretty I think it will be.

It's been so long since I've done any actual crocheting on this project, I'm hopeful that my tension won't be totally different when I get back to making the squares again. I also don't know how I'm going to sew or crochet them together, but I do know that I don't want to start until they are all done and I can lay the whole thing out in a cat/baby/toddler-proof room!
6 - Cotton!
When things really got too hot and humid to have any wool or alpaca fibers touching my skin in any way I ripped out a cotton top I started last July and started over. This time I'm making the neckline V-neck and am adding more simple details with the purple yarn since I only have one skein of it. (I tried to make everything below the chest purple last time, and there is not enough yarn for that.) I'm using the formulas from Barbara Walker's "Knitting from the Top" (this book has been in my library for a while - why have I not read it before?!?!) and trying it on as I go. It's on a little bit of a hold since the humidity went back down and I'm finding a lot more interest in the fair isle than endless stockinette...but I want the end product and the sleeves should be fun, so I won't let this sit for too long. I also think this will be better camping knitting than just about anything else, so this should see more progress before it gets too cold to wear it. :-)
7 - Next in line...
And last but not least, I have this yarn waiting in the wings. It's going to be a v-neck, vest version of the Venezia Pullover by Eunny Jang. Can't wait to get started, but I'm holding myself back until I get a few more things finished. My limited time and persistant tiredness means that I just can't deal with too much multi-tasking in my knitting.

Back to work, etc.

2009-08-17T11:40:00.000-04:00

Comments and Observations:

1 - Pumping is MUCH less stressful when you're getting more milk than you need on a daily basis. It's a combination of having a stronger supply this time and Todd taking less at daycare than Heather did. I'm very thankful and I hope it lasts. I pumped almost as much as I need for all of tomorrow in today's first session. Of course, I hesitate to say that for fear that Todd will suddenly want a lot more at school...but given the way he's been cluster feeding with me I'm not too worried.

2 - We will not speak of Todd's sleeping habits for fear that the good will end. I'm still tired because I can't get to bed as early as I would like and his bedtime is still adjusting, but I'm not complaining. And as we approach 4 months all of my fingers and toes are crossed...

3 - My knitting mojo is back in full force. It's almost debilitating since my desire to knit far outpaces my available time. It's great to have bus knitting time back and to be getting caught up on podcasts, but I know that having lots of projects in the works right now would be too much for my overwhelmed brain. So I'm not casting on until I do some finishing, and the daydreaming about new projects is almost more than I can handle. I also don't want to stop knitting once I start. (Just one factor in not going to bed as early as I should - although knitting helps to calm my brain and fall asleep faster once I turn off the light, so that part is positive.)
I managed to upload some knitting photos this weekend. So those of you on ravelry can go check them out and my next post solely about knitting will probably have pictures. Probably.

4 - I saw Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince this weekend. I enjoyed it quite a bit, although I don't think it will be my favorite movie in the end. It's a little difficult to judge since I spent quite a bit of the movie mentally comparing it to the book. Once I get a few more viewings under my belt it will be a little easier to judge it as a movie in its own right. But overall, I think it got the general feeling and important points of the book right. I know that others were unhappy with the ending, but I wasn't. I found that in the book I needed a mental rest between the major death and the battle that follows, the kind of rest that one can't get while watching the movie. So I liked that the movie minimized the battle and allowed the end of the movie to be about mourning and preparing for the battles to come.

The only change in the movie that I noted that I didn't like was that Dumbledore and Harry never discussed what the other horcruxes might be or the importance of Voldemort picking objects that were his "trophies" or otherwise valuable to him. I think that's a critical piece that Dumbledore figures out and shares. I assume that we'll be shown how Harry figures that out on his own in the next movie, but that was the one missing scene that bothered me while watching the movie.

Now is not the time, but I am feeling the urge to re-read HP7 soon.

5 - I'm on Season 7 of The West Wing. I started rewatching the series soon after Todd was born and borrowed all but the first season from Mom and Dad. I finished with Season 5 when I returned to work and am making more progress during Todd's cluster feeding. Also, the oppressive heat and humidity this weekend helped because I didn't feel like doing anything...even when he wasn't nursing.

I've really enjoyed rewatching the series. There were a lot of small moments that I had forgotten and a lot of minor players rediscovered. I now know why John Locke looked familiar when we started watching lost (military advisor to President Bartlett in later seasons) and it was fascinating to see Sun's "boyfriend" and father play a North Korean pianist and his handler, respectively. I should have kept a running list of interesting actor sightings, but didn't think of it at the time. I had also forgotten before I started Season 7 that a CMU alum I "knew" was a member of the Santos campaign team. Those darn CMU alums are everywhere!

6 - I think the only thing to report about Heather is just how big she looks. There are moments when you just see little girl and there is absolutely no baby or toddler to be found. R captured one of those moments at the playground this weekend. I think part of it is how long and lean she's getting and part is just from all that she can do. It's really fabulous to watch.

Despite her older appearance, she's totally refusing to sit on the potty and is still clinging to the pacifier as a strong comfort object. (We had a little success with PT, but she's reverted to refusal since Todd started at daycare.) For right now we are reminding ourselves that she won't be using diapers and pacifiers forever and the transition of "sharing" daycare with Todd has definitely affected her, so we won't be forcing any changes right now.

I think the hardest moments are when we are on a "schedule". Trying to balance some happy, relaxed minutes together or letting Heathr do things "all by myself" with the need to keep things moving on our busy weekdays. There is little leeway in our Monday through Friday routine, but allowing for a little flexibility helps keep everyone happy. There is always a happy balance we are trying to acheive...and the needs will just change again when Todd gets older and more mobile.

7 - My family has experienced a few losses in the past four months. I'm finding it very difficult to write the condolence cards. I stared at the blank cards for a bit this weekend. I've been told that its better to say something that's not quite right than nothing at all, but it still feels pretty impossible. It's much easier to get caught up on thank you notes, but of course I didn't do that either...

8 - Thanks to everyone who has inquired about the past two weeks. The return to work has gone pretty well for me. Enough work to keep the days from moving too slowly. But not so much work that I'm feeling totally stressed or overwhelmed. Things are kind of slow right now, but we're short listed for a large project that would really help the firm out financially. So if you could all keep your fingers crossed that we get this big job, it would really improve the job security for all of us.

I'm still not totally on track with the meal planning thing. But there are meals in the freezer and I'm 10 times better at it than I was before maternity leave...so I'm happy with my progress and that I've added a few recipes to my repertoire. In the past couple of months I've made meatballs, banana bread, pot roast, lasagna and pancakes (not on the same night!) for the first time and my confidence in the kitchen is up. I am a happier cook when I don't have to look at a recipe every five minutes, and even happier when I can improvise with the ingredients I have. So I expect that meal planning and nightly cooking will get even better as my skills and experience improves.

Of course, all three of us still love easy things like mac'n'cheese and frozen ravioli...so its not like I need to turn into a nightly gourmet. ;-)

Kid Stats

2009-08-13T10:51:00.000-04:00

My good intentions keep getting away from me as I seem to be spending 90% of my weekday evenings in the kitchen, eating dinner and nursing Todd. So I'm going to try to make myself write brief posts instead of waiting to have time to write what I really want to write with pictures, etc. :-)

Heather had her 2 1/2 year check-up on Monday. She's 34 1/2" tall (+2 1/2") and weighs 26 lbs (+2 1/4 lbs). She did great with the doctor. She was cooperative and responsive (just a little shy) and really seemed to impress him with her language. She didn't tell him any stories, but spoke in some long sentences. He didn't express any concerns and wasn't even worried about the lack of potty training. I suppose he might feel differently in 6 months, but I think R and I both hope it won't be an issue by then...

I have a feeling I've missed both Todd updates, so let me fix that before I get three appointments behind!
1 month, 1 week - 8 lbs, 13 oz (+3 lbs from birth) and 21 1/2"(+2" from birth)
2 months, 1 week - 10 lbs, 13 oz and 22 1/2"

He's had good appointments. Since I've done this before and he's a fairly easy baby I haven't had a lot of questions for the doctor. And since he's growing well the doctor hasn't has a lot of questions for me. Can't ask for much more than that! The doctor commented on how strong he is and that he seems to be catching up to the milestones for his age, so we don't expect we'll have to worry about his adjusted age much at all. And, bonus, Todd only cried for about 30 seconds when he got his shots. I didn't even have to nurse him to calm him down!

We go back the second week of September to find out how far he has outpaced his sister on growth. She was 12 lbs, 14 oz at 4 months and according to our scale at home he's already 13 1/2 lbs! The funny thing is that everyone keeps telling us that he's a "little guy", but from our perspective he's not.

We are definitely blessed to have two healthy kids!

Blogiversary and the kids

2009-07-20T11:50:00.004-04:00

4 years ago...it began.

I'm not posting on my actual blogiversary, but given the relative silliness of the event I'm sure that you all won't mind me being a few days late. I'm sure you're just happy to see anything here at all, given how quiet I've been.

I've enjoyed blogging and I plan to keep going. I'm sure my focus will continue to shift as it has over the last four years, but I'm also pretty positive that knitting, Heather and Todd will stay the most often discussed topics for the foreseeable future.

Given all of the things I'd like to cover today, I'm actually going to break my thoughts up into a few posts, instead of forcing you to deal with a big jumble like I usually do. :-)

I suppose that most of all, reaching my blogiversary is a reminder of all that has happened in the last four years. When I started this in July 2005, I knew that we wanted to have kids, but it still felt like that would be far in the future. Even though I knew we planned to start trying in less than a year it seemed like such a big deal that I wasn't even really letting my mind focus on it yet. Serious denial. Despite knowing I wanted to be a mom, it was still a big step to be willing to give up our comfortable DINK lifestyle and the ability to do what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. I remember one night that R and I were eating some sort of random dinner on the couch because back then I only cooked a real meal sporadically, and I realized that once we had kids I was going to have to cook every night. And the thought just made me feel suffocated.

I'm not telling you this to make you think that I have any regrets about becoming a mom, because I don't. I guess I'm just trying to express that even though I'm not always a big fan of making dinner every night or having to do chores every evening, it's a worthwhile trade-off for my two adorable, charming and lovely children. And I suppose I think this is worth saying because back in 2005 I wasn't sure if I would feel that way. What I mean, is that back then I was much more looking forward to parenting older kids (say 5 or 6 years old) who could fully communicate and be somewhat independent. I didn't know that I was going to enjoy the young stages quite so much (other than the sleep deprivation, of course) or that a 2 1/2 year old could communicate so fluently.

I say this in part because I know that the transition back to work in two weeks isn't going to be easy (let's not even talk about how early I'm going to have to get up!). But I know that with time we'll find our groove and that everything with kids is a constant state of flux - when one thing gets easy something else takes its place and gets hard. So just when we get our routine figured out Todd will start crawling and mess it all up again. ;-)

But the jist of this long stream of consciousness is that in the end I know it is all worth it. The challenges make the fun times that much sweeter.

Consonant Clusters

2009-07-09T21:17:00.002-04:00

My favorite words in Heather's vocabulary right now are the ones with consonant clusters...

"grape" is "gape"
"blueberries" are "booberries"
"playground" is "pay-gound"

You get the idea. There are more examples, but my mind is turning to mush.

I'm also a big fan of "shovel" (suh-bul) and "yellow" (yeh-woh).

She's really speaking well. I think these words are especially cute because they are among the few that aren't quite right and because they are contained in long sentences and intricate stories. She is even learning harder concepts like "because" - "Todd doesn't need his pacifier because he is nursing". Although sometimes it isn't really needed in the sentence, it is just used to amplify her point - "I need to eat some grapes because I need to eat them".

I know it will be a while, but I can't wait until Todd starts talking, too. ;-)

Next time, I owe you a post about Todd's stats (he's growing great!), but the numbers are in my purse ALL the way downstairs...

Three weeks in a hurry

2009-06-22T14:19:00.005-04:00

I just really can't do justice to the past three weeks in a long, picture-heavy post...especially because Todd has been sleeping while I ate lunch and moved laundry around and he could wake up every minute. So you'll have to settle for relatively recent pictures of each kid and let me try to sum it up...

The past few weeks have mostly been really nice with the occassional hint of miserably tired and overwhelmed with housework. The nice weather has afforded two trips to the zoo (one with Nana & Bapa and one as a family of four), many trips to the playground, the neighborhood yard sale (see bike above, walks around the neighborhood, a couple of trips to the neighborhood city pool, dinners on the porch, planting of flowers and playing in the backyard. We've also had some rain and one really impressive storm. (We are fortunate to live at a higher elevation, but some residents of our area were really hit hard and lost significant property - our thoughts are with them.)

We've spent time with the grandparents and we're trying to navigate life with two kids. A life where one of these kids wants to nurse often and the other can be sweet as pie one minute & defiantly saying "no" the next. I think we're doing well, but I'm trying to examine our house, our habits and our lifestyle to find anything that could make things easier when I return to work. I'm trying to clean up and clean out (see hint of overwhelmed by housework above), and my mom is going to come for a week to take care of Todd whenever he isn't nursing so that I can get as much done as possible. I've also been stealing moments here and there to put his room together, since his furniture finally came during the past two weeks. The room needs some plaster patching and could use some paint, but its mostly occupiable now...by both of us.

The current balancing act also invoves trying to get enough sleep to function well, to get out to enjoy the nice weather, to have a few more playdates and to have fun with Heather when she's home. Oh, and one day this week I'm going to keep her home and test out a full day alone with two kids. I'm assuming I'm not going to get any chores done that day. ;-)

Yesterday (I think) we had a nice Father's Day. The four of us took the Father's Day brunch cruise on the Gateway Clipper. For those of you not in Pittsburgh, the ship cruises the three rivers of Pittsburgh in and around the area where they meet. It's a great view of downtown, the stadiums, the bridges and of Pittsburgh in general. Heather had been asking to take a boat ride, and the weather was great. She wasn't thrilled about posing for pictures, but overall she seemed to like it. Todd was less obvious in his feelings about the trip. Just like our zoo visits, he spent the whole time sleeping or nursing, so it is hard to judge his thoughts.

Todd's beginning to stir, so just a few short words on the knit/crochet front and I'm out of here. First, Todd's blanket is done - yay! I blocked and washed it this weekend, so now it just needs a photo shoot. It's done just in time for the hot weather so he can still be swaddled without sweltering in a blanket. Second, I've started a baby gift for a friend. I've gotten the blanket done and this gift started by finding time when I can let Todd sleep on my chest while I work. Add this in to the balance equation.

Other than that, my three sweaters in progress are calling to me. I can try Samus on my post-partum body to measure for the zipper. The pieces of Bristow are ready to be blocked so it can be sewn together. And I want to put the alpaca vest on waste yarn so I can try it on and make sure my gauge and measurements will actually fit me. There are also lots of squares for Babette that need to have their ends woven in before I do more crocheting. Hopefully my tension hasn't changed too much since I started the think last year.

ETA: Oh, and I've watched the second season of Family Ties on DVD and I'm on the 3rd season of The West Wing (I have the 1st season and borrowed the rest from my parents. It's interesting to watch it back from the beginning). I'm watching whenever Todd nurses and I'm feeling less lazy & gluttonous when I don't just have random TV shows on in the background all day long...

10 years...

2009-06-01T09:03:00.003-04:00

...ago today was my first day at my job.

Even though I'm not in the office today to celebrate, I'm reminded of how lucky I am to have found a firm right out of school that was such a good match to my abilities and interests. In talking with other people in my field, I feel grateful to have found a place that is supportive of my as a mom and a set designer and a person, as well as being a place that has supported my growth as an architect.

I'm thrilled that I've gotten to work on theaters and I never realized the satisfaction I would get from working in higher education. We all have our ups and downs, and days that we just want to stay in bed, but at this point in my life I have trouble imagining a job I would enjoy more. (Especially since no one is going to pay me to go to work and knit what I want!)

A few Observations

2009-05-18T10:46:00.007-04:00

Ignorance is Bliss
The other day I read about a baby born at 35 weeks, 1 day who was 3 1/2 pounds and 15.5 inches at birth. Todd was born at 35 weeks, 5 days. I was worried enough about going into pre-term labor. I'm really happy that I didn't know how scary it could have been.

Timing is Everything
Last night I was reading about a developmental spurt at 2 1/2 years old. It may or may not affect Heather's sleep, but one of the main emotional and cognitive developments is the ability to feel jealous. This will be about the same time that Todd turns 4 months old. *Awesome*

---------------------------------------

I started this last week thinking I would add things as I think of them and post every few days. Ummm...apparently not. So here is a quick little update and maybe I'll get a few pictures posted this weekend.

Todd is acting less like a premie and more like a baby. He's still a pretty good sleeper, but he's having more awake time during the day and today he seems to need a little more encouragement to fall and stay asleep. I think we'll be seeing more of his personality emerge soon. Although I won't be surprised if the "laid back" impression that we've gotten so far sticks. He's been pretty pleasant today even though he's gone a few hours without a real nap.

We had a nice Memorial Day weekend as a family. There were a number of trips to the playground, a trip to Target & Supercuts, a trip to the zoo, a birthday party to attend, and Heather and I finished planting the flowers. Also, R and Heather went swimming and Todd & I went out to dinner with some of my friends. It was BUSY three days.

We've got another three day weekend coming up since daycare is closed on Friday, and I'm hoping that this one will be similarly fun but less busy. I could use a little time to catch up around the house while Heather is sleeping and Todd is being entertained by daddy. :-)

Heather is still doing well. She has her 'rough' moments, but they could just as easily be attributed to her age and development as they could to her new status as big sister. She's not always careful, but so far she's been kind and gentle to Todd, so I think we're doing well.

I might have both kids at bedtime by myself tonight for the first time, so fingers crossed that they are both cooperative...

Oh, and Todd is still regularly rolling to his side and to his tummy. He doesn't seem to believe me when I say that he shouldn't be doing that yet!

Unexpected

2009-05-10T19:51:00.002-04:00

A few short months ago, this was not how I expected to be celebrating Mother's Day in 2009.

Physically, I'm feeling almost totally back to normal (I accept that my body won't be totally "mine" again until Todd is done breastfeeding, but otherwise its pretty close to what it was last summer.) But emotionally and mentally, I'm a bit all over the place. I'm sleep deprived, so everything I'm feeling seems to be magnified about twenty times...

Thankful for my beautiful children.
Anxiously wanting to make sure that Todd eats enough but tired of waking him to eat.
Happy to be spending the weekend with my mom.
Mourning the loss of my grandmother a few weeks ago but not wanting to mourn on such a happy weekend.
Loving my time with Heather while she is learning and being so engaging.
Simultaneously missing Heather and Todd while they're napping, and later looking at the clock to calculate bedtime so I can rest myself.
Still in shock that I'm the mother of TWO children.
Incredibly impressed by all of the SAH moms who take care of a newborn and don't send their older kid(s) to daycare Monday through Friday - hats off to you!

I'm happy, healthy and very lucky. I can't really ask for more...except maybe for a little more sleep. ;-)

Happy Mother's Day!

Uh-oh

2009-05-08T14:56:00.001-04:00

Can someone please inform my son that a 2 week old should NOT have the strength or coordination to roll himself from back to belly?!?!

This was just a one-time thing until he gets much bigger, right? But still...I think we're in trouble with this one!

A little bragging...

2009-05-07T21:15:00.002-04:00

...about Heather.

The girl loves her ABCDs. I don't think we've tested every letter, but she knows most of them. She definitely knows her H, Stewart's S, Todd's T, Nana's N, Bapa's B, Mommy's M, Daddy's D and Karla's K. She likes P and Z, too.

She also loves singing. She knows almost all of the songs that Daddy has on his iPod and others, too, that they sing in music class.

She's regularly saying 'thank you' and saying 'please' pretty often.

Heather loves her duplo blocks. She got another bin last weekend when she and daddy were running errands, and now we have enough blocks for all three of us to be building at the same time. :-)

She's doing a good job of being gentle with Todd, and she refers to him as 'her baby', 'baby brother' and occassionally 'Todd'.

Heather looks really big now, compared to Todd. She's still a peanut for her age, but to us she looks so much bigger than she did two weeks ago.

I'm sure there are more cute stories, but I need to decompress my brain so I can fall asleep after Todd's next feeding.

Thoughts and Observations from week 1

2009-05-06T12:00:00.004-04:00

Todd, R and I came home from the hospital a week ago. We are slowly moving into our new life as a family of four. We are learning about Todd, watching Heather's responses to the changes and trying to sleep whenever we can. I'm healing well and Todd's weight check yesterday was a success, so forward we go.

Todd is definitely a more laid back baby than Heather was. (And I highly recommend having your higher maintenance baby first. If we had a newborn like Heather along with a 2 year old I don't think we'd be surviving nearly as well as we are.) He still sleeps quite a bit (and doesn't fight sleep?!?!) but he's starting to have a couple of alert periods each day. Otherwise, the day is about eating, pooping and napping. Classic newborn.

Unlike Heather, Todd is not content to sit in a dirty diaper. He's even been known to refuse to eat until he gets changed. Figuring that out was a big help. As was figuring out that he throws a fit when you change his diaper, so its a good way to wake him up when he needs to be eating instead of sleeping. :-)

Heather seems to be taking well to her little brother. She is of course finding some frustration when she can't get the attention she wants from one of us or in the fact that I can't pick her up and carry her around. But overall, I think she's been very patient and loving toward Todd. We've been sending her to daycare, and I think keeping that little bit of consistency in her life and sending her to a place without Todd has been good to keep her at an even keel. The only two changes we've noticed are a renewed interest in using her pacifier outside of her crib and some separation anxiety overnight. She also seems to be interested in giving Todd a pacifier and we now know that all four of us can sleep in our queen sized bed. (Six if you count the two cats, although they don't stick around when Todd wakes up crying to eat.) This isn't an ideal long-term sleep solution, but it is working for us during this transition period and allowing R & I to get some rest. I'm sure by next week we'll be doing something different again!

Oh, and if you ever need to lose 18 pounds in one week, just have a baby and breastfeed. ;-)

An important quickie!

2009-04-28T21:07:00.005-04:00

Lots to tell you, but I'm low on energy and I don't know when I'll have much time or energy in the near future. If any of you haven't heard yet - we have two kids now. ;-)

Some photos of the little guy are here.

Todd Eldon was born on 04/27/09 at 2:08pm.

Todd, Heather, Daddy and I are doing well, and as long as Todd passes the car seat test tonight we'll both be headed home tomorrow. :-)

He decided to follow in baby Jude's footsteps and come before 36 weeks, which caused a bunch of extra tests due to his prematurity, but so far he's passed them all with flying colors. Good temp, good weight, good glucose levels, etc. Mommy just wishes he would eat a little more, but he has a good sucking reflex and the pedi says he'll eat more in a few days when he's hungry. He's pretty laid back right now - hopefully he'll stay that way, but I'm prepared for a lot more fussiness when we get closer to his due date. DH and I were just happy to get sleep and keep him in the room with us last night, unlike our experience with Heather.

For those interested in the birth, I was able to do a VBAC and even though she wasn't able to get there right away because I went early, my doula was a big help. My water broke just before midnight and I was 1 cm when we got to the hospital. I was doing well but progressing VERY slowly and getting tired for potentially a long labor ahead. So I decided to get the epidural around 10am. It actually helped my body relax and progress really well - I was fully dialated and ready to push before 2pm! My anesthesialogist did an awesome job, the epi was just strong enough to help me relax and rest, and strong enough that I could still move and feel the pressure of the contractions. 10 minutes of pushing (I have no idea how anyone pushes for two hours!) and Todd was welcomed into the world.

I've got nothing

2009-04-17T13:57:00.003-04:00

Sorry if you're checking in for interesting blog content, I'm going to disappoint you today.

I'm tired. I've got lots of work to do. There is a lot to do at home, and I'm not going to get any of it done this weekend.

But I've been reminded recently of how lovely and supportive my friends are. The girls weekend I went on last month was a great respite, and I've since been reminded in a number of ways how lucky I am to be a part of the give and take from a lovely group of women. And even friends who I don't talk to or communicate with as much as I would like to (or should) have been reminding me a lot lately how much they mean to me - whether it is sharing a story, gushing over the same TV show or just letting me know that they are thinking of me. And, of course, the time to spend with family and longtime friends over Easter gave me the usual warm and fuzzy feeling.

Consider this a blanket reminder that I am thinking of all of you and I promise that when things get less insane I will find more tangible ways of reminding you.

Happy Easter!

2009-04-14T09:24:00.000-04:00

Heather enjoyed seeing her family this weekend and loved when the weather was nice enough to take the ball outside. This was a camera phone pose to send home to daddy.

Waiting

2009-04-06T09:02:00.000-04:00

Heather asked about the garbage truck as soon as she woke up this morning.

Possible stash solution

2009-04-03T11:18:00.003-04:00

I tossed the stash last night. It was in need of a tossing because it's been at least a year, there are multiple new yarn purchases that had either not been properly stored or not stored with similar weight yarn, and I was pretty sure a reorganization would result in a few less containers by making better use of my bigger ones. There were lots of project leftovers that needed to find a home, too. I'm also a little paranoid about the m-word* and wanted to head off any problems before they become big ones. (There are three bags ready to go in the freezer due to signs of problems, but luckily nothing flew out of any container I opened...)

*for the uninitiated, I'm talking about m-o-t-h issues. I find I don't even want to use the word, like the superstition of not mentioning "the scottish play" at the theater.

I was also keeping an eye out for potential baby yarns and possible yarns to help with my vest issues. I need to do a little swatching, but I may have found an alpaca solution for the vest. I've got 200 yards of a 100% alpaca purchased at The Wool Gathering in Yellow Springs, Ohio in fall 2006. The big pro is that it is a from-the-farm yarn like the ones I have, which will keep the whole vest "sustainable" without needing to add a factory yarn to the mix. The caveat is that it is hand-painted, so I need to see how it works up in a fair isle pattern. I'm also a little concerned that the lighter portions of the hand-dyed will be too similar to the oatmeal yarn and no provide enough contrast. But if it does work, it would be really beautiful.

Hopefully we'll get the nice weather we've been promised this weekend so I can take some progress photos to document this little journey.

Vest woes

2009-04-02T15:39:00.003-04:00

Let me start by saying that I would probably be better off right now working on things like shawls, blankets, hats, mittens...you know things that are actually compatible with the body of a woman who is 7 months pregnant. I do have the advantage that I've made/I own several sweaters that fit my not-pregnant body well, but there are times that it would be simpler if I could just put what I'm making ON. The prime example being the nearly finished but zipperless Samus cardigan that I have no use for until at least October.

But my current yarny fever seems to be all about sweaters and vests, with only a mild interest in crocheted blankets, so I just seem to keep going with the things I can't wear.

I've got two things on the needles right now. I'm working on Bristow in my solo silk from Brooks Farm and so far it is turning out spectacularly. I can't know for sure since I can't put it on, but it looks comparable in size to things in my closet.

The other is this vest (pictured above) from Vogue Knitting Fall 2005. Consider the pattern really as a jumping off point. 1 - I'm not doing the body in ribbing because I'm using 100% alpaca, which doesn't hold ribbing well. 2 - I'm going to put an i-cord under the fair isle to emphasize the smallest part of my waist. 3 - I'm going to knit the whole thing in one piece and steek the openings. 4 - I was hoping to do the fair isle in just two colors (chocolate and oatmeal). 5 - I'm using a 100% alpaca in DK weight while the pattern calls for a heavier yarn in a wool blend.

My primary concern is that I just finished the first hank of chocolate brown yarn. I have 8" of body done, and I need to do 11" to get to the fair isle section. I was going to do the ribbed edging in the chocolate, too. I can do some math and weighing, but I'm just really not sure that it will be enough. And if I steek, there is no going back.

I'm considering:
- washing the body of the vest that is done so far to see if it grows in length (I did wash my swatch, but I didn't measure it before I washed it. Although I guess I could compare the row gauge of the washed swatch to the row gauge of the unwashed knitting...)
- working the fair isle back and forth so it would be possible to rip back if I run out of chocolate yarn.
- calling the alpaca farm to see about getting more chocolate yarn. (I was just being too thrifty while I was shopping)
- adding a third color to the fair isle pattern in order to need less chocolate yarn. (Pro - add more color to the sweater and I have a lovely pink angora blend that could work well, Con - vest is less neutral and might go with fewer shirts)
- weighing the knitting, weighing the skeins and counting the stitches I've knit so far to do some more advanced knitting math and see what's really possible. I enjoy being a "figure it out as I go" knitter most of the time, but I don't think that's a wise path this time.

When I'm not obsessed with things for me, I'm on the lookout for a good spring/summer hat pattern for baby-yet-to-be-named and I'm pondering a crocheted blanket for him made with these squares in either a sock yarn or Cotton Fine.

Letting out my inner geek

2009-04-01T10:20:00.002-04:00

LOL!

Obama Depressed, Distant Since 'Battlestar Galactica' Series Finale

Hmmmm...

2009-03-30T14:06:00.003-04:00

I keep thinking of snippets of things that I could post, but nothing really seems to be worthy of a whole post. I need to get over that and write what I'm thinking, even if it is only a few sentences. (I should probably realize that being brief isn't a problem...)

Highlights from the last 10 days:

1 - Heather's favorite phrase is absolutely "by myself". She would do EVERYTHING by herself if she could and we usually give her a chance to try whenever time allows. She can (generally) put on her coat, put on her shoes, get out a bib and put it on, eat a banana or orange and climb onto the coffee table. 8-|

Most of these efforts usually involve a little assistance (starting the banana peel, starting the zipper, etc) and some are not ideal activities, but life with a two-year old seems to involve finding the right balance between letting her have some freedom (walking on the inside of the sidewalk without holding our hand) and providing boundaries (not letting her walk on the curb along the street). No doubt it is entertaining and exhausting, especially when you're 7 months pregnant.

2 - Some actual, visible progress has been achieved on my office. The closet is as empty as its going to get, some shelves are empty, one doll house has vacated the room and there is less stuff. A whole trash bag has been filled, as well as a number of recycling bags and a box for donation. The beginning of Saturday was spent cleaning our room and dressing room, since I knew some of my stuff was headed for those rooms and they both really needed a good cleaning. My office/the baby's room will need a really good cleaning when the organizing process is done, but for now I'm just cleaning things as I encounter them or remove them to other parts of the house. I don't see much point in trying to dust and mop the whole room when there is still "stuff" sitting all over.

If anyone has any great tips for storing a fabric stash, displaying old toys, washing musty doll clothes or otherwise dealing with "stuff" from the past I'm all ears. I think I'm doing well at letting go of a lot and "giving up" on projects that haven't gotten done in 5 years of having the materials, but I'm too sentimental to chuck it all. :-)

3 - Knitting update:

Heather's sweater is done. I found great buttons and it washed beautifully. I think it could have been a little longer, considering how much extra width there is, but it definitely has a lot of room to grow for the fall. She wore it all day Saturday without complaint and remembered that mommy made it all but one time. (I admit, it can be hard to remember which sweater's were made by mommy and which ones were made by nana...even daddy forgets. ;-)

On a whim, I made a granny square on Wednesday night. A ravelry friend had a few really pretty crocheted squares in her favorites, and the patterns were free, and I have leftover yarn from Samus. So I made one while we watched LOST and some other TV. I'm pondering a baby blanket, although the wool for Samus isn't machine washable and the one I made is probably too "open" for a baby blanket. The idea of using the pattern with sock yarn and a smaller hook is stewing in my head. But I really should make my future son a coming home hat first since Heather had one of those. It's only fair!

The cardigan and vest I mentioned in my last post are both progressing. I've finished the back of the cardigan and 2/3rds of the left front. I have to wind more yarn before I can continue. I've started the waist decreases on the vest. It is 200ish stitches around, so I only get about an inch or so knit in a day of bus commuting. Even though it will require more finishing later, the cardigan feels faster since I can finish whole pieces in a few days.

4 - I'll be 32 weeks pregnant on Wednesday.

Seriously?!?! I guess we're in okay shape. There are some things that we still need, but if push came to shove buying some diapers and setting up the bassinet, pack'n'play and infant car seat are the only things that *have* to be done before baby comes home. The rest are things that we could improvise around or get before too long. Food, diapers, clothes, a car seat and a place to sleep are really the basic necessities.

We did meet with a doula this weekend, and I have vague notions of what I'd like to purchase before the furniture is delivered, but we are so incredibly laid back this time it is a little scary. :-) Oh, and choosing a name would probably be a good idea, too...

5 - Congrats to blogless Jen on the birth of her son William this morning! I suppose his arrival just pushes the rest of us closer to our turn in the queue!

Knitting Update

2009-03-19T09:40:00.004-04:00

For those curious, last weekend at the cabin was fabulous. The weather was sunny and mild (not that I left the cabin property all weekend, but I did go outside a few times), the friendship and laughs were wonderful and I look forward to doing the whole thing again. Yes, it was even worth a day of illness after I got home - especially since I got off relatively easy on that front.

Yarn related accomplishments from the weekend:
- I finally mended my winter gloves which had developed two small holes.

- I seamed up Samus and knit an i-cord edge all the way around. It still needs a semi-aggressive blocking and a zipper, but I can't install the zipper until I can put it on my post-partum body. So I will be packing it away until this fall.

- I swatched two of the yarns I bought at the Pittsburgh Knit and Crochet Festival for future upcoming projects.

- I organized the completed blocks of my Babette blanket and wove in some of the ends.

- I knit the majority of a new sweater for Heather. I had about 3 inches of yoke done when I was picked up Friday morning and when I came home on Sunday I had about 15 rows left to finish the second sleeve. I finished that and the button band this week, so all that remains is to weave in ends, find buttons and block it. Pictures soon.

Given my recent progress, I think I'm doing pretty well on my 2009 NaKnitSweMoDo goals

"1 - I will focus my 2009 knitting energy on 12 sweaters, tops and vests."

I've got 3 items completed or nearly completed - Amelia, Heather's yoke sweater and Samus (ravelry links) - which I think is pretty good for mid-March. I've made some Babette progress, too, which I'm willing to count as one of the 12 if I can reconnect with it and finish.

I realize that my knitting mojo is going to take a nosedive in two months, but I'm trying to take advantage of it while its still going strong!

The two swatches I made over the weekend will inform my next two projects - a cardigan and a vest. I admit to being a little more excited about the cardigan since I'll at least be able to try that on for length. The vest is a little more daunting since the only thing I'll be able to do in the short term is hold it up to other things that fit pre-pregnancy. And also, I can't find a pattern that is quite what I want, so a lot of it is going to have to be worked out as I go along using a published pattern as a (very) rough guide.

The View

2009-03-15T13:14:00.001-04:00

We were here. :-)

No cell service at the cabin.

Dreams

2009-03-04T09:51:00.004-05:00

As a parent of a baby and later a toddler, you spend a lot of time wondering what is going on in their heads. Do they dream? Do they understand the question? What train of thought led them to remember someone they saw a few weeks ago? What is the obsession with ravioli? :-)

Well, I think one question has been answered for us. There is no doubt in my mind as of this morning that Heather dreams.

Last night about 1am she started whining and calling out for "mommy". We waited, and after about 60 seconds she was quiet again. It is moments like those that you wonder if she was awake and upset, and managed to settle herself down again or if it was just a dream.

At 6:40am, while I was between alarm snoozes and trying to wake myself up, she began calling for "my kangaroo, my kangaroo, my kangaroo"... Considering that she doesn't have a kangaroo in her crib or any toy kangaroo anywhere in the house, I'm pretty confident that she was dreaming. :-)

Pronouns

2009-03-02T10:01:00.002-05:00

Heather seems to have figured them out this week. Certainly, as a 2 year old, her sentence structure isn't perfect (and it's pretty cute when its not!), but we noticed this week that she's starting to replace names with pronouns. Many uses of Heather have been replaced with me, my and I. And many uses of mommy and daddy have been replaced with you and your. It's pretty amazing how suddenly it has "clicked".

As I think I've mentioned, she's been speaking in longer sentences for a few months now. We've loved listening to her progress and she really is communicating well. But a few weeks ago R and I realized that we were spending a lot of time artificially speaking in the third person. I would say "Mommy is getting milk for Heather" instead of "I am getting milk for you", etc. I think we were initially doing it to make sure that she knew her name and our names, as well as a way of making ourselves very clear. When there are multiple people in the room, pronouns can be confusing, even for adults. :-)

So we've gradually been changing the way we speak. I don't know if her speech change is a result or a coincidence, but either way it is very cute.

Overall, except for occassional bouts of toddler stubborn-ness, she's not making me feel *too* worried about having 2 kids under 3. I know that its going to be exhausting no matter what, but she's not giving me that "I can barely handle one, what are we going to do with TWO" kind of feeling that I had back when we first talked about having another. I'm sure in two weeks she'll go through a phase that makes me want to pull out my hair. But at the moment *knock on wood* she's an extremely pleasant child who's only tiring request is the need to be rocked before bed.

More later about Franklin and fun with my friends!

Various

2009-02-24T10:38:00.002-05:00

I feel like I've been thinking about blogging for the past week, but I haven't sat down to actually do it. I was barely on my computer all weekend and there hasn't been a good combination of mild temperatures + partial sun + free time for photography of yarn or projects. I also still haven't gotten back to the birthday party pictures. (I had a bunch open in Photoshop ready for editing when my computer froze up and had to be rebooted. :-( I haven't found the energy to go through the pictures again and most need some editing before uploading.)

So here are some random notes to try to free up my mind a little...

1 - Tomorrow is the beginning of the third trimester. Realizing that it was getting close, we bought baby furniture over the weekend. A crib and a double dresser. This makes it even more critical that I clean up my room so we actually have a place for these items.
I think we've realized that the dollhouses in my office need to go into storage for the forseeable future. At some point when we've finished the work on the 3rd floor and basement I can probably have a room that is all my own again...but until that happens or until Heather is old enough to play with the smaller dollhouse, there just isn't a good place for the dollhouses to live in "public".

2 - I'm trying to finish something at work that I really want to get off my plate and that is really mentally taxing to work on. I'm also pretty tired this week. This is not a great combination. I'm trying to use my iPod to help me through. As well as chocolate and coffee.

3 - I'm making good progress on Samus - a few more days and I should have the main body knitting finished. I'm also trying make myself put it down often enough that I can finish the baby knitting I need to do for next month.

4 - I had a great time at the Pittsburgh Knit and Crochet Festival. I took a crochet class from Robyn Chachula that was great. There were a few times that I felt a little slow since my crochet skills aren't awesome, but she was a great teacher and never made me feel like a slow student. I hope she'll be back in Pittsburgh again soon! Before her class I did my shopping at the Brooks Farm Yarn booth. I knew that I wanted to spend some of my shopping budget there and it seemed easier to do it before I had seen anything else in the market. I bought 3 skeins of Four Play (50% wool, 50% silk) in variegated medium blues. When planning my shopping I realized how little blue there is in my stash other than aqua, so I set out for a sweater's worth of blue.
Sunday, I took a great color class (color wheel, how to group colors, colors in different fibers) from Kate Lemmers. She could not have been more enthusiastic and it was a really fun class. I'm familiar with the color wheel, but she built on the knowledge I already had and expanded beyond the basics in a way that was really helpful. I think some of what I learned will even be useful when I get back to painting someday.
After class I had a lovely brunch with Anna and Lisa. They showed me their lovely purchases and talked about the vendors I had to visit after we ate. After lunch I browsed the rest of the market. I didn't have a ton of time, but I managed to take a look at each booth (I just skimmed the store booths unless they had something unique) and go back to the ones that really spoke to me. I bought yarn from Creatively Dyed Yarn, Highland Alpaca, Shadyside Farm Studio, Puckerbrush Farm and Star Weaver Farm. I was specifically looking for naturally colored alpaca and wool yarns, but I admit I was drawn in by some hand-dyed specimens as well. I also spent quite a bit of time looking at the yarn at Knitting Notions, but I needed to show some restraint somewhere and their website will be the first place I go when I have a little fun money to spend on yarn...whenever that might be.
My final class wasn't really what I expected. It should have been divided by experience level and it wasn't very well planned or organized. I'm not going to go into more detail publicly, but let's just say that I got a lot of knitting done during the 2 hour class... It raises my esteem even higher for some of the other teachers I've taken classes from.

5 - Saturday night I saw "Fiddler on the Roof" with Topol. I forgot how much I really love that show. I got chills during "Tradition" and I just really like the whole thing from beginning to end - the story, the songs, the characters. I laughed. I cried. I added the DVD and CD to my wish list last night!
And also, Topol was amazing. Not only did I think he was even better on stage than in the movie, but reading that he's now 73 just makes his performance that much more impressive. He did the movie in 1971...

6 - In my previous Heather updates I don't think I've talked about her favorite songs. There are lots of them! Sometimes she sings herself, sometimes she *requests* that we sing to her, sometimes she wants us all to sing together and sometimes she wants to see the YouTube videos of her favorite songs and we are instructed *not* to sing along. :-)
"Happy Birthday to You" has been a favorite for a few months now. We are instructed to sing to her, or a stuffed friend, or a person we recently sang to (Angelina, Andy, mommy, etc). Other current songs:
- The Wheels on the Bus
- The alphabet song (aka "ABCD's")
- Itsy Bitsy Spider
- Jumpin' Josie
- If You're Happy and You Know It
- Baa Baa Black Sheep
- Mary Had a Little Lamb
- Uh-huh
- Go Away
- And she still sometimes requests Jingle Bells... :-)